#this whole mess of nonsense would not leave me alone while I was at work all day

[playertwotails]

Okay so I've been thinking about this since it popped into my head last night. This is an off the rails conspiracy theory nonsense AU/Theory/Headcanon-ish thing but I thought it was funny and wanted to share so here we are.

And what is this fresh non-sense I have for ya'll today:

Eggman is not the main villain of the series. In fact he might not even be the villain.

Is this dumb - yes, but strap on your tin foil hat an join me below the cut if you wanna see me try and make this, make sense.

I'll start off with this came to me when I started thinking of the video game Fable III. (If you know this game you might know where I'm heading with this already) For those who don't know spoilers for that game if you've never played it. There is an evil king you take down and over throw for being horrible to everyone and extorting, killing and squeezing everyone for money and resources. But afterwards you find out he was mostly doing so cause there was an even bigger evil threat heading ya'lls way that he was trying to gather resources to withstand and take down.

There's more to that plot but this is the bit I wanna focus on. What if it's the same with Eggman. Yeah he's an evil guy trying to take over the world and use all the natural resources to his benefit, but what if it's because there's an even bigger threat out there and he's just trying to amass enough resources to withstand an attack.

With dialog from the new games Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog we know he's been making business and stuff for years to get money from and move around resources. And he's always after the biggest most powerful thing he can find and try to control it, to take over the world but the main point here is that he want's the macguffin artifact/creature's power.

But what if he's only doing that cause there's something out there he needs an entire planet of resources, energy and manpower to take down.

What helps with this whole crazy spiel is that he never kills Sonic. Does he try, yes...or maybe that's what he wants them to think. Cause most of the time when he has the perfect opportunity to kill Sonic he doesn't or goes on some kinda long rant that allows them to think of a way out and save the day or just straight doesn't. Sometimes he even saves Sonic and helps him. Heck in forces he doesn't even kill Sonic just locks him up for 6 months, okay there's the one off nonchalantly given line of him being tortured for 6 months but like the game did we're gonna gloss over that.

What if he doesn't actually want to kill Sonic but uses him basically as an easy way to test the durability of his creations he's making, not making them to take down Sonic but what ever this greater threat is. Plus he knows Sonic is strong, so if whatever is out there beats Eggman he knows that there's at least Sonic and co. as a last defense.

Think about it, a lot of his creations he fights Sonic with are massive compared to one 3ft something little fast guy. And yeah Eggman has a flare for the dramatics but in the long run it's impracticable and he is a genius.

So Eggman gets a free test dummy and more and more data to make even more powerful weapons which he can then use against this greater threat.

So the next question is, well who is this greater evil he's doing all this terrible stuff to make sure he has enough to take it down? And the answer to that is idk this is all a load of nonsense tangent I'm going off on, I just thought the idea was cool. But I can tell you I don't think we've met them. It's not Black Doom cause they actively worked with them at one point to make Shadow, the Ultimate Life Form. I don't think it's The End from frontiers cause even it didn't seem Eggman was aware of that until Sage brought it up. It's not dark gaia cause Eggman wasn't trying to kill them just use them to further his own plans. No one knows about this threat except for Eggman who, if he hasn't seen it, has some sort of knowledge of it but just doesn't share cause there'd be no point. Either he beats it or doesn't why should he try to work other people who aren't as smart as him. Plus he does have a big ego and wants to be the one to take down a threat like that just so he could brag he did with his own genius creations.

Idk this just came into my brain and refused to leave so here ya'll are a fresh heaping of crazy rambles enjoy. Let me know what ya'll think though I'm kinda curious about ya'lls thoughts.

[ananke-xiii]

"The Born-Again Identity" is one of those SPN ep that I like despite the fact that there are so many things in it that drive me a little bit insane (truth be told, in part it's only my fault cause I can never completely turn up the "suspension of disbelief" volume and I go to a default "but why?" mindset everytime I see something on screen, so okay it's a *just me* problem). However, I do think that S7 was not that bad and it had some quite intriguing and original ideas while the execution was... well, let's say clunky. So, all in all, I think this episode is kinda cool.

the things that drive me a little bit insane:

the imagery of sam desperately running alone in the night along some tracks in a supposedly dangerous part of town. The "derailing" and "going off the tracks" symbolism was a bit on the nose; him buying drugs from the "tweaker" and sleeping with the guy in his car: mmm I feel like that was, like. a lot. to be just thrown away like that.

sam being admitted to the hospital with no mention of said drugs use and the whole scene with the doctor telling dean that they had to put sam in the locked psychiatric floor. I don't know, it also feels like.a lot. and.all of a sudden. they could ease into that way better, it's too ham-fisted as in: we have to find a way to put sam in an horror asylum-like facility in less than 5 minutes for the ep to make sense. so that what feels like to me.

daphne. everything about her drives me insane. I have a whole story where she has to clean up the mess dean has made and hide the body of the demon or something. she'll later start her own private hero's journey to find emmanuel and bring him back to their white picket fence life so perfect and so based on manipulation and stockholm syndrome.

the demons showing up at the grocery store. like what? it was established just a few scenes before when dean told the demon that he was "hands-off" or something and that the demon was actually looking for emmanuel. so why oh why would the other demons look for dean when there's emmanuel.alone.in.the.car. nonsense.

that one demon torturing sam with the electroshock. what was the point? why were demons there anyway? weren't the brothers hands off? maybe i missed something here but to me just felt like "asylum ep= electroshock scene is a must" and meh.

sam leaving the hospital.just.like.that and "swapping place" with cas. i'm sorry, what? i won't even comment on meg being suddenly hired as a nurse cause okay i want to give the writers that, but wtf? oh okay, this guy that has just showed up here (and has definitely possibly murdered 4 or 5 people at the entrance) is maybe not okay, let's not call his wife or someone, let's just lock him up. whaaaaat?

the quite intriguing and original ideas:

the cas/sam parallel: they are both evidently mentally unstable for very different reasons. cas has, in a way, "left the life" and dean, of all people!!!, is not 100% cool with him regaining his memories because what if he leaves???? sam is quite literally very close to leave life in general because the trauma is affecting his body in an irreversible way. they are both "born" again identities at the beginning and at the end of the episode. Very cooooool.

sam and lucifer interactions: the actors really did their job well in this ep cause everytime I watch it I'm exhausted, like I can't bear to hear Lucifer talk and talk and taunt and I definitely feel worn out like sam. I think Jared works very well with Mark Pellegrino, too bad that the whole Lucifer storyline was a mess in later seasons cause the actors had great chemistry.

meg. every scene with meg is just joy for me. and her storyline? left alone looking for "friends"? sure, she totally plans to use cas as her ally but what's new? (jokes aside, there's a whole pattern of women manipulating and using cas, am i the only one seeing it???).

marin. first of all, hello abigail????? (hannibal memories flooding in). second of all, cool MoTW-Not-So-Much-MoTW story. ofc she's a sam's mirror used to basically explain what happened to sam but the ghost who's tormenting her is also her brother and he must die-die-die because he won't let her go. hello??? paralleling sam's hallucinations with sam's issues with dean was super intriguing and too bad that the MoTW was Not-So-Much-MoTW cause marin's story was maybe not even 8 minute long.

bonus: "Peace of Mind" from S14 echoes this ep brillianty, they even cast one of the same actors (the doctor/the mayor) and they used the same surname for sam (sam smith/justin smith). cool cool cool (although unrelated to s7).

[siriannatan]

Let It Go

When idea for this AU hit me it contained no angst, but I managed to sprinkle some in

Jon ~200 years old Damian ~20-21

Befriending a half-vampire (a dhampir, to use proper terminology) was not something Damian's mother would have approved of. Luckily for both him and Jon, he lived with his father, who was far more positive on the topic of human-vampire coexistence.

Which is why he could patrol the streets of Gotham, looking for Ghouls (a half-dead husk left after a vampire of a certain power level drains a human and doesn't change them) and other monsters and magical populace messing with non-magical people, with Jon keeping him company.

Jon was pretty special as far as vampire ranks went. A proper dhampir born of a relationship between a human woman and a powerful vampire. What made him even more special was that even at the ripe age of two hundred years he was still a dhampir. Meaning he never drank blood directly from a human. And didn't like talking about it. As Damian has learned over years of inquiring. 

Well. Jon was a dhampir for some period of their 'friendship'. There was an incident where he had to drink Damian's blood to save them from a particularly nasty vampire who set the two of them as their target. Damian's right leg was broken and his left arm was dislocated. He was already losing a lot of blood. Enough for Jon's usually blue eyes to turn red from the scent alone. He did insist Jon do it.

"We either die here or you drink some of my blood and save both us and the hostages," Damian hissed, shaking his friend with his good arm. The Hunter was slumped against a warehouse wall. "I'll take full responsibility if our fathers dislike this decision and you'll be free to take any frustration out on me once I've recovered," he added solemnly and exposed his neck.

Jon's eyes were on his neck for what felt like an eternity before he whispered "I hate that you're right so much," and sunk his fangs in so fast Damian would miss it were it not for the mind-numbing, outrageously pleasant feeling. Even when barely conscious he appreciated the new way Jon moved. His body could finally keep up with his instincts.

Damian didn't regret his decision and thought Jon's attitude to the whole ordeal was well... childish. Especially considering Jon was two hundred years old. It was honestly a wonder how he avoided drinking blood from a living human for this long. While Damian had extensive knowledge of magic of all kinds. A necessity for an effective monster hunter. He had no clue what was the difference here. Blood was blood no matter the source, no?

Well, apparently it did. And now Jon wasn't talking to him. Even if he had kept his word about taking all responsibility when their father's found out Jon was a full vampire now, and pleased they were not. But Jon was a stubborn fool, he had not once visited Damian as he was recovering. Not that the young hunter cared much. He was fully expecting the vampire to be doing something more productive. But he was not.

Jon was sulking in his Gotham apartment. He lived there to keep his distance from his influential in the vampire community (the not evil vampire community to be precise) father and mother. He was hiding with curtains closed tight. Doors and windows shut closed. Not making any signs he was still there outside yelling at anyone who approached to leave him alone.

It got so bad Clark Kent. Jon's father did not use his full real name, more vampire nonsense challenging logic. Was worried Jon was doing something dumb. Like starving himself. And it landed on Damian to try and talk some sense into Jon. Even if everyone was aware he had even less luck talking to Jon than anyone else.

Once he had recovered - faster than normal mortals would thanks to Alfred's magic - he picked up a new case. Someone was distributing a magical drug to the non-magical population. With very unpleasant effects. And his investigation of the last few weeks landed him needing to infiltrate a certain gala where the main suspect might be meeting with his supplier. And Damian couldn't attend as himself. His being a Hunter would not work. But being Jon's plus one would. Not that Jon would willingly work with him.

But he was not one to give up easily. So he made his way to Jon's apartment and knocked loudly on the door. "Open up, Kent! We need to talk," Damian demanded, hearing some shuffling. Jon usually didn't bother even trying to be quiet and stealthy. 

"No, we don't, go AWAY!" Jon yelled back. Damian just knocked harder.

"I'm not leaving until we talk," He insisted.

That got an annoyed hiss and shortly after the door was opening. Jon looked like a nightmare. Even paler than usual. Eyes red. His hair was messier than usual. Still in the same clothes from the night, he bit Damian. It has been nearly a month...

"What?" the vampire snapped, not even inviting Damian in.

"I'm aware you don't want to see me much less talk to me but..."

"I'm not helping you with any cases, Damian, I managed to hold off drinking from a living being for two hundred years. Then I meet you and it's all over within two months?" Jon interrupted but did pull Damian inside his apartment.

"I know, and I understand it was important to you. I promise you I would have not proposed it as a solution for our predicament in that moment if I saw any other solutions, even if with a lower probability of success," Damian said while staying as still as possible. Jon was agitated and likely starving. And Damian was a mage whose blood he had tasted before. Magic user's blood was said to be particularly tasty to vampires.

"Meaning you know why I don't want to see you," Jon huffed, as Damian spoke he backed away as far as he could while keeping the conversation up.

"One more case. You help me with one more case and I'll leave you alone if you still want me to," Damian offered and extended his arm. "I promise all I need is your company, you won't have to fight anyone, I'll handle all of that. I promise," as he spoke he expected Jon to lash out at any moment.

Jon eyed him with narrowed eyes. Seconds stretched seemingly infinitely until Jon slowly approached. He didn't shake Damian's hand. Not at first. "I'll never forgive you if you make me do something I don't want ever again," he hissed before tentatively shaking Damian's hand. "So what is this case that absolutely requires my presence?"

"Shouldn't you eat something first?" Damian asked, arms crossed on his chest. "I just don't want you losing control in the middle of my explanation," he shrugged. Expressing that he was worried would only have annoyed Jon more.

"Fine," Jon grumbled and stormed to his fridge. 

As it turns out he had no blood left having turned all deliveries away. Not to mention he didn't amend them to his new, higher need for blood. 

Damian sighed and thought through their options. He needed to brief Jon today so he could get everything else ready in time for the gala. "You could have some of my blood if it helps, it's the least I could do since all this is my fault," he offered carefully.

Jon groaned. "You're such an idiot. You can't just offer your blood to any vampire..." he started complaining. 

"You're not some 'any vampire', you're my friend, Jon," Damian shook his head as he removed his blazer before sitting down on the couch. "And I fully trust you won't cross the line," he added while undoing the top few buttons of his shirt.

"You're a moron," Jon sighed but didn't protest Damian's plan any further. Seems his stubbornness had a limit. Which just maybe happened to be Damian's exposed neck. "Only a moron would willingly offer themselves to a starving vampire," Damian would have been more worried if Jon's tone remained annoyed. But as the vampire straddled him his voice and expression became distant.

"And you're a stubborn idiot," Damian chuckled and forced himself to relax at the first hint of teeth on his neck. 

Jon unlike last time didn't bite instantly. Instead nuzzling Damian's neck. Tracing along his veins with his fangs before licking the spot. Damian wanted to tell him to hurry it up. THeir closeness was dangerous. But he was smart enough not to. For one, he didn't want Jon to lose what control he had left. And for two, the numb feeling Jon's tongue left sent shiver's down his spine. The memory of the last, and only, vampire bite he ever experienced was still very fresh in his mind. Was it normal that he enjoyed it?

Probably not. Especially considering he had to curl his hands into fists to stop the urge to grab at Jon's hoodie. His hair. Anything. He had to bite his lips to stop any noise that would show how he was feeling about it. It was all over far too soon. But he managed to keep any disappointment hidden. His brain was foggy for a moment as Jon left his lap. He pushed the desire to stop him down.

"You okay?" Jon asked when Damian remained silent to his questions.

"I'm fine," Damian shook his head and pulled out a golden quill out of nowhere and proceeded to explain the case and his plan.

It was all easy in concept. Jon already had gotten his invite to the gala. One for vampires only. His father has already declined but Jon didn't check his post in nearly a month. And it said he's free to bring a plus one. Who didn't have to be a vampire or even have an ounce of supernatural in them? Of course, being from a family of known Hunters Damian couldn't come as himself. So the plan was he'd go in disguise.

"Do you have a suit somewhere in here?" Damian asked, before even saying anything about his disguise.

"I do," Jon nodded but made no move to go and look. Whatever. Damian was confident Jon would not flunk this. "Okay, so we'll meet at the hotel on the day, and go from there, all I have to do is get you in and follow your lead," he summarised, all not interested in the minute detail. It was the first time he didn't poke Damian for details. It stung. A lot. But Damian didn't insist.

A few days later Damian arrived at the Gotham Grand Hotel. He paid for the room but it was reserved under Jon's name. Well, not quite. It was reserved under the name El, Jon's family name. According to the young woman sitting behind the reception desk, Jon was already in the room waiting. Damian thanked her with his best smile. She blushed slightly, her expression turning to confusion as Damian walked to the elevator.

Luckily their room was close to the elevator. Damian was already hating his choice of shoes and the night didn't even start yet. Well, at least Jon didn't make him wait long after he knocked. 

"Where's your suit?" Damian asked as he pushed in past the stunned vampire. Maybe he should have given Jon some more details whether he asked for them or not. 

"Damian?" Jon asked dumbly as he closed the door. "Wha... you... Why?"

"I did say I couldn't come as myself, right? So tonight it's Danielle," Damian shrugged as he sat down, careful to not wrinkle the deep green strapless gown. Between it and a long wavy wig perfectly matching his hair he looked a lot like his mother. Nearly gave father a heart attack. "And I couldn't come to the hotel you're staying at as myself. Especially as I had to tell the front desk who I was visiting. Where's your suit," he complained, rolling his eyes at how obvious it was. In the last few days, their relationship mended slightly. 

Jon just sighed and snapped his fingers. Shadows enveloped him for a moment and when they dispersed Damian's heartbeat spiked for a second before he got it under control. Jon's hair was for once properly combed back. His loose hoodie and ripped jeans were replaced by an all-black suit that fit him unfairly well. Between the suit, his dark hair and the paleness of his skin the blue of his eyes stood out.

"Better?" the vampire asked, fangs flashing briefly. "Don't you think you're missing something?"

"Like what?" Damian asked as he dug out a make-up kit from a golden clutch that could only contain a few small things and his golden quill. His magic focus. 

"Here," suddenly Jon pulled out a black velvet jewellery box. Inside was a set of gold jewellery, a necklace, two earrings, and a bracelet. All decorated with the most perfect emeralds Damian has ever seen. Just how old was it and where and when did Jon get it? "I think it won't be too much green," Jon shrugged but did help Damian put it all on. It was lucky he got his ears pierced some half a year ago on a bet from Drake. 

He just hummed as he checked himself in a small handheld mirror. Just to not look at Jon too much. After quickly fixing his lipstick it joined the quill in the handbag. And then it was time to go. The lady in the reception blushed even more than before as Jon left the key. Well, Damian got it. Jon looked great in a suit.

When they arrived at the gala venue Damian was slightly shocked. He was to many galas with his family. Wayne's were a very public family. Minus their identity as Hunters. That the public had no idea about. But it was known well enough in supernatural circles. So he knew a lot about what to expect. But the lack of media was still shocking. Jon on his end looked bored. 

"I went to several of these over the years, they're always very boring," Jon said and yawned. It was mostly boredom, Jon never felt exhaustion. Even before the incident.

Jon was excellent company as they scouted the main hall of the mansion where the gala was happening at. Looking for their target. Well, Damian was. Jon lazily socialised with guests more familiar with his father. "Oh, he was busy and stuff, but I had a free evening and was a bit bored, and needed a nice place to take someone to," Jon smiled getting a vampire and witch of some sort to laugh. His arm loosely wrapped around Damian's waist.

On his part, Damian played the role of a ditzy model from Europe. Happy to be there and hopelessly in love with his (her) companion. In all honesty, it wasn't that hard to pretend if he was actually, secretly in love with the damned vampire. He was not acting when he smiled and giggled at Jon's jokes even if he didn't pay them any attention. And he most certainly wasn't acting when he'd lean into Jon.

Eventually, Damian spotted the target and excused himself with an excuse of needing to find the bathroom.

Following the target and getting the evidence he needed was easy. Making his way back to Jon was the hard part. Especially when he got cornered by some random idiot. And while normally he'd just knock him out he didn't want to cause more trouble than absolutely necessary. His heart was racing so fast that he had to hope Jon noticed and would come. He had no other way of contacting the vampire.

"I just got lost looking for the bathroom," Damian giggled nervously, keeping up the voice was a bit hard but he managed.

"You're the little thing the El brat brought along, aren't you missy?"

"Meaning you should know to stay away, no?" Damian was never this relieved to hear Jon's voice. And never saw someone jump back this quickly. Even if this guy wasn't interested in following the law, he was very much aware of what Jon could do and get away with, if annoyed enough. As Damian looked at Jon cold sweat ran down his spine. He never saw Jon smile like this. 

His eyes were expressionless. Staring at the man boxing Damian to the wall. Lips curved up in a smile that didn't convey any emotion. Maybe aside from pure rage, as he slowly walked up. His hands were in his pockets. Posture relaxed.

"I was just...."

"How about you stop wasting my time and just leave me and my companion alone?" Jon's smile fell into a scowl and the man practically ran off. "Are you okay?" he asked once they were alone.

Damian nodded, letting his forehead fall against Jon's chest as the vampire took the idiot's spot as Damian didn't move. "Just need a second to calm down," he quietly admitted. "But I have all the information I need so we can leave whenever," he added, taking in what little closeness he could still get from Jon.

"Wrap your arms around my neck," Jon suddenly said, pushing closer to Damian. "Someone's looking to bother me," he briefly explained but Damian's arms were already moving to pull himself closer to the vampire. Closing his eyes and trusting Jon's likely non-existent plan. 

Damian heard some shuffling as he remained still in Jon's arms. Their bodies pressed close. Wondering if Jon's wrath was worth a single kiss. Well, there was a chance Jon would not tell him to go to hell after this. So he stopped himself. Instead of focusing on evening out his heart beat.

"I think they're gone," Jon sighed and gently stepped back. Damian regretfully let go of him. "I think no one would notice if we sneaked out," he added, offering Damian an arm. A welcomed assistance. Even if he picked low heels his shoes were becoming uncomfortable. How the hell did Richard and Tim manage to wear ones with heels any higher was beyond him.

"That would be appreciated," Damian agreed and tuned out any and all noise. Enjoying the last moments of closeness to Jon he could. Hopefully, their relationship would recover but he was a realist. And Jon was seriously upset about that thing earlier.

Shockingly Jon didn't chase Damian away the moment they were far enough from the Gala to go their separate ways. "I'm not letting you go around Gotham looking like this," the vampire huffed as he wrapped his blazer around Damian's shoulders.

Damian was expecting Jon would take him to a hotel or something like that. But instead, he ended up having a shower and a borrowed change of clothes at Jon's place. Followed by tea and some sandwiches. Talk about mixed signals. But Damian accepted it wordlessly with a nod.

"You can have the bed, I don't need to sleep at all anymore," Jon offered as he joined Damian on the couch. But as far from him as possible. And he changed out of his suit. A shame, even if he still looked great in just a faded T-shirt and sweatpants.

"I could just call Pennyworth if you'd rather have me out of your hair sooner," even more mixed signals.

"I... I don't mind you staying the night...." Jon said, looking away even more. Damian was pretty sure his face would be red if vampires could blush.

What was he supposed to do with all these signals telling him Jon didn't mind them staying friends? So he just hummed and complimented Jon. "You looked great in that suit, not that you don't usually...." And failed spectacularly. 

"Not as good as you... though the wig was a bit of a shame," Damian's mind blanked. Jon liked him in that damned dress? They were both silent for a long while after that.

Maybe Jon liked him as more than a friend? Well, one way to find out. That is if you were raised in a cult specialising in killing monsters. "Push me away if it's too much," he said and as fast as humanely possible closed the distance between him and Jon in a kiss.

At first, Jon just sat there. Still like a corpse from shock. But as Damian started pulling back, preparing to apologise once more, he got pulled onto Jon's lap. With just a second to catch some air, they kissed again. It didn't matter who initiated it. Damian could finally get his hands in Jon's hair.

"You should sleep," Jon said once Damian needed air. 

"Only if you join me," Damian grinned. "Only for cuddles, I'm far too exhausted for anything else," he quickly added. That Jon had no issues with.

[lowkeychenle]

Songs that remind me of Chenle <3

Okayyy I'm gonna make a list of songs that remind of Chenle and any lyrics in specific or if it's the whole thingggg this is the most delusional thing I've ever done soooo keep scrolling I know it's BAD all songs are linked <3

Also this will be an ongoing list that I'll be adding to when I hear new songs okay byeee

Rainbow - NCT Dream

I think it’ll be okay, I think we’ll be shining The rainbow that connects our hearts

2. Like We Just Met - NCT Dream

Even if say I love you every day Forever still isn't enough

3. Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

I want to drive away with you I want your complications too I want your dreary Mondays

4. Enchanted (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you

5. Fictional - Khloe Rose

I'd rather keep on dreaming of someone I'll never meet than give love to another one who won't choose me

6. Dream in a Dream - TEN

I'm staying up I don't wanna come down from your love We'll get lost together, let me flow Don't ever let me come down from your love

7. Sorry, Heart - NCT Dream

Not any of the lyrics to this song lol but hearing him sing this live was a 10/10 experience and it changed my life fr

8. everything everywhere always - elijah woods

Everything, everywhere, always Love 'til it hurts, 'til my heart aches The light in my world on my dark days For always you'll be my Everything, everywhere, always

9. Work Song - Hozier

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

10. Nervous - John Legend

Like flyin' in the fast lane, no headlights in the dark That existential feelin' when you wonder what you are Got a wild wind in my head But the butterflies in my heart make it worth it

11. Complete Mess - 5 Seconds of Summer

I ask no questions as your colors take their hold As my darkness turns to gold inside

12. Stuck - Imagine Dragons

You were my one, you were my one When all has been said, all has been done You were my one, you were my one Now I am left reaching above me Time goes by and still I am stuck on you

13. Feel Like This - Ingrid Andress

I thought I knew what I knew what love was Guess I didn't know at all

14. Nights Like This - Josh Golden

But on nights like this I still think of you When it's cold outside and the bed is too

15. Never Let Me Go - Florence + the Machine

And it's over and I'm going under But I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in I'm slipping underneath So, so cold and so sweet

16. Nonsense - Sabrina Carpenter

Think I only want one number in my phone I might change your contact to "don't leave me alone"

17. Magic - NOVO

See me in sight Feel the magic Let your heart open Fight and keep going You won't be broken forever

18. this is how you fall in love - Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

This is how you fall in love Let go and I'll hold you up So pull me tight and close your eyes Oh, my love, side to side

19. Dandelions - Ruth B.

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'd be mine, mine And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

20. Never Say Never - The Fray

You can never say never While we don't know when But time, time and time again Younger now than we were before Don't let me go

21. I Would For You - Lauren Duski

Give you all of my time Lay my heart on the line I'd even walk through a fire I would for you Be the strong when you're weak Be the truth you believe Be the more than you need

22. Ring Pop - Jax

'Cause if we're gonna die, let us die sugar-coated Oh, we don't got a dime to our names, but we're loaded

23. Out of My Head - Theory of a Deadman

I don't know just what it is But I know I want this to last I can't get you out of my head God knows I've tried But I just can't forget

24. Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

I want something just like this

25. Paradise - Coldpay

In the night, the stormy night, she'd close her eyes In the night, the stormy night, away she'd fly

26. Yellow - Coldplay

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do

27. I Like Me Better - Lauv

I like me better when I'm with you I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time 'cause I like me better when I like me better when I'm with you

28. YOUTH - Troye Sivan

My youth, my youth is yours Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls My youth, my youth is yours Runaway now and forevermore

29. Never Enough - Loren Allred

Will you share this with me? 'Cause darling, without you All the shine of a thousand spotlights All the stars we steal from the night sky Will never be enough Never be enough Towers of gold are still too little These hands could hold the world but it'll Never be enough

30. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

So, I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait, I'm sure There's no need to complicate, our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours

31. REALLY REALLY - WINNER

The most beautiful thing in my eyes right now Is you If my feelings for you were money I’m a billionaire I like you

32. I Just - Red Velvet

When I close my eyes, it gets slow Your voice, your breath, your smile comes to me again On my lips, the flow, your name I’m swallowing it up, feels like I could burst I’m running again

33. This Feeling - The Chainsmokers

They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest They got their hands at my neck this time But you're the one that I want and if that's really so wrong Then they don't know what this feeling is like

34. The Only Exception - Paramore

And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable distance And up until now I had sworn to myself That I'm content with loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk Well, you are the only exception

35. There You Are - Zayn

Need you when I'm broken, when I'm fixed Need you when I'm well, when I'm sick Friends that I rely on don't come through They run like the river, but not you

36. Ruin My Life - Zara Larsson

Baby, come bring me hell Let it rain over me Baby, come back to me I want you to ruin my life

37. This City - Sam Fischer

This city's gonna break my heart This city's gonna love me then leave me alone This city's got me chasing stars It's been a couple months since I felt like I'm home Am I getting closer to knowing where I belong? This city's gonna break my heart

38. august - Taylor Swift

But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine

39. Broken Melodies - NCT Dream

I lay awake Inside my head Your voice is on repeat

[thetypedwriter]

Foul Lady Fortune Book Review

Foul Lady Fortune Book Review by Chloe Gong 

This book was torturously tedious and achingly long. 

I had high hopes for Chloe Gong. These Violent Delights and Our Violent Ends, while not without problems, was a really excellent debut duology that made me excited for Gong’s upcoming works. 

When I heard that Foul Lady Fortune, Gong’s third book, was actually a spin-off from her original duology that followed Rosalind Lang, a side character from the first books, I wasn’t enthused, but also not put-off. I trusted Chloe. 

While I would have loved to have seen something new from her, I understand working off the success already gained from These Violent Delights and Our Violent Ends. 

It made sense. Even if, as a reader, I wasn’t hugely anticipatory. 

Turns out that Gong should have left her duology alone. 

Foul Lady Fortune takes place five years after the ending of the duology and sets readers back into the convoluted mess that is Shanghai. While Gong’s descriptions of Shanghai are fascinating to read about, they were swallowed up by a political quagmire, Gong’s thousands of characters, and nonsensical plot lines. 

This book was 500+ pages of too many things that weren’t fleshed out properly in any sense. The politics of the book were beyond confusing, adding information and exposition that truly wasn’t needed for any other part of the book. 

I felt stupid 99% of the time while reading about the different factions like the Communists or the Nationalists or the Japanese Imperial Army before deciding that it didn’t matter. 

No, truly. 

Understanding any of the politics that Gong writes into every chapter is completely pointless. Even the characters themselves didn’t care. Despite being part of a particular group, none of Gong’s characters had strong ties or allegiances to any one side, which makes the reader also not care about any of the sides and drives any tension and stakes the book created straight to the grave. 

In fact, most of the characters actively worked together despite being on different sides of the war, and more than one character was a double agent or even a triple agent. Keeping track of who worked for who and what they believed in was a waste of time as the characters didn’t even make a priority. 

Speaking of characters, they range from shafted and underdeveloped to bland and mediocre. I found Rosalind to be a middling protagonist. I didn’t hate her, but I also didn’t love her.

 I felt very neutral about her journey and the myriad chapters in her POV. Seeing as most of the book was from her eyes, feeling neutral for 80% of the book isn’t great. 

In addition, Rosalind is supposed to be this highly trained agent and yet she messes up almost every other chapter. Sometimes she knows how to fight and sometimes she doesn’t, sometimes she’s cool, calm, and collected, and other times she gives into nerves and anger. She doesn’t come across as highly trained in any sense. 

Her whole emotional development about giving up on love and closing herself off from the world could have been interesting if we had seen more of it since Our Violent Ends. 

However, because of the time skip, Rosalind has already processed most of what had previously happened with Dimitri and the Scarlet Gang, leaving her journey uninteresting to the reader. 

Lastly, Rosalind is immortal. Yup, you heard me correctly. She can get shot in the stomach or poisoned and be just dandy. Because of this, the book has no stakes whatsoever. In every single fight scene featuring Rosalind, I was bored out of my skull because no matter the outcome, Rosalind would be fine. 

That was established in chapter one. What is the purpose of this, you might ask? Does Rosalind grapple emotionally and mentally with the prospect of never dying, losing all of her loved ones, not aging, not sleeping, and falling into a pit of boredom and despair?

Who knows. Rosalind hardly thinks about her own immortality and all the ramifications that come with it, which would have been great as a reader to see as well as offer a complex insight into her character. 

Some might argue that the purpose of her immortality is to lead into the chemical killings sub-plot, but I would argue that Rosalind’s immortality doesn’t add anything to the sub plot, and, if anything, lessens the stakes and tension overall as I mentioned above because you know she won’t die and will escape every altercation unscathed. Sigh.

Other major characters include Orion, Oliver, Celia, and Alisa. There are a thousand more that Gong introduces in this novel that don’t matter at all. At all at all. Every time she introduced some side character, I actively glossed over their name as I knew they were inconsequential. 

Orion and Oliver are brothers and essentially carbon copies of each other. They’re both cookie-cutter agent types whose only personality traits include being handsome and sarcastic. 

Celia is interesting, but we hardly get any chapters about her. Alisa is…fine. I think Gong exaggerates her skills and it annoyed me that Alisa was working for Rosalind and company in the first place, as politically and historically it made no sense. 

Speaking once again about tension and stakes, Alisa is essentially a ninja ghost who can get out of any situation. Oh, the characters are imprisoned for the second time? Not to worry, Alisa will single handedly break into the jail and get them out. How? Shrugs. Don’t worry about it. Rinse and repeat multiple times. 

Two other characters I’ll briefly mention are Phoebe and Silas. I found both insignificant until the epilogue where Gong reveals a twist that I didn’t find surprising at all. Otherwise, both of them essentially played no role and took up valuable page space for no discernible reason. 

The plot itself was both dull and ludicrous at the same time. Most of this 500+ paged novel is having the characters complete boring tasks interspersed with low-stakes action. For example, Orion and Rosalind work at a Japanese newspaper named Seagreen Press. What do they do there? Who knows. 

Other than Gong introducing us to more faceless characters, I found these chapters of them “working” completely pointless as they never actually did any work to cover up the fact that they were agents on a mission to infiltrate the Japanese. 

Of all the places Gong could have chosen for her setting, she chose a newsroom? Baffling. 

Predictably, every chapter would start with either some boring reconnaissance, some info dump on convoluted and removed politics, some half-hearted romance, and then an action scene of some sort that always involved our main characters getting away scot-free. 

Over and over and over again. 

Honestly, the best part about this book was probably the half-hearted romance. Everything else either didn’t matter or was too confusing to understand. Now, this book was apparently advertised as an enemies-to-lovers trope, as well as a fake married spy couple trope, as well as representing a range of sexuality types with Orion being bisexual and Rosalind being demisexual. 

That’s a lot to unpack right there. I usually love enemies-to-lovers, but I would argue that they’re not enemies to lovers. Rosalind is cold and shut off from everyone, not just Orion, and they’re not enemies. They’re partners working on the same mission. 

The animosity between them lasts only a short bit until suddenly Orion is calling her beloved every two goddamn seconds and they’re being affectionate without a care in the world. 

The we’re-in-a-sham-marriage-and-then-accidentally-fell-in-love trope is so overdone and washed up that I couldn't even scrounge up an ounce of an enthusiasm for it. Of course they would fall in love. Duh. It would have been more interesting if Gong had inverted this trope somehow, but she just…didn’t. 

The sexuality representation was actually a surprise to me. I had no idea that this book was even marketed this way until I started reading other people’s reviews. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, to back up this representation while actually reading the novel if you didn’t know about it beforehand.

 Rosalind has maybe one internal monologue that she’s not like other people in terms of she doesn’t lust after others until she gets to know them more. Ummm, okay. There are a lot of people who don’t identify as demisexual and still feel that way. 

Orion being bisexual (apparently) is painful. There’s one conversation where his sister Phoebe mentions him sleeping with a man. That’s it. That’s the whole representation of Orion being bisexual in the entire novel. 

If I were a reader who had been taken in by how it was advertised I would be beyond disappointed. Gong doesn’t deliver whatsoever on the representation and it shows. If anything, it seems more like a marketing ploy than an actual attempt to represent different kinds of people. 

Adding all these elements together, this book was a slog. Gong’s writing itself was fine to me, not particularly enchanting nor distracting. As always, her love for Shanghai and the culture surrounding it was the best part. 

Everything else about the novel put me off and made me not want to read. This book would get a worse score than it did, but I still think Gong has talent and I appreciate her attempt involving complicated historical issues and POC characters. 

I just wish it was done better. 

Recommendation: This book is lauded as a historical remake of As You Like It. As I didn’t like most of the book, I’d recommend going to the source itself and reading Shakespeare's play. Not only does it take less time, but ironically you’d be less confused and happier all around. 

Score: 5/10

[cebwrites]

“only one bed” trope (Kidd)

part one of suggestions i got from the lovely patron saint of dilfs herself @childofblackmaria 💕

gn reader but kidd uses “princess” in a mocking way once, poly (KilKidd x reader), slightly suggestive at times word count: 1k

He’s stubborn, he’ll fight you for it even if there’s more than enough room for the both of you to sleep comfortably without touching each other - of course he will, it’s his own bed; obviously it’s fit for a king, too

He’ll pick a fight over which side is comfiest and the two of you will end up bickering (while getting into that very same bed) for at least a small portion of your bedtime routine

Either the both of you end up “arguing” until you fall asleep, resting comfortably on the cushion of Kidd’s tit and occasionally murmur retorts to whatever nonsense he’s sleepily spouting, barely even conscious

Or Killer comes in wielding a frying pan like a weapon to tell you two to knock it off because the yelling’s keeping everyone else within earshot up - these two scenarios are regular occurrences, but Kidd’s crew doesn’t get the former NEARLY enough for the sake of their rest

If the two of you are away from the Punk for once and have to share one of those measly motel beds (because this was the only place on the island that would take Kidd and his band of infamous misfits and Killer warned you lot not to cause a scene this time), your captain isn’t exactly happy

They’re always just slightly too small for him to sleep right at his stature (your heart goes out to what Wire and Heat have to put up with) and there’s little space in those shitty rooms for him to unwind and work on his prosthetic comfortably

So safe to say, they always put Kidd in a bad mood; you’ve gotten used to this though - over the years that you’ve known each other you’ve learned to navigate through his mood swings, in no small part thanks to Killer’s help, and the two of you work in tandem to make sure Kidd doesn’t end up blowing a hole through the wall of the only shelter you’ve all seen in weeks The three you you cram into that tiny room together, taking in the sad state of things. Killer considers just biting the bullet and getting another room but you remind him that this would take them over budget and with Kidd already fuming by the window, you’d need all the help you could get. Plus - you, Kidd, and Killer a package deal, after all. Kidd haphazardly kicks off his boots an flops on the pathetic excuse they have to call a mattress for the night, weary from travel and bordering on hangry, nearly taking up the whole damn bed with his starfish position alone. He lifts his head to glare at the eyes on him, “What are you lookin’ at, princess? I called dibs on this cheap hunk a’ shit so I’ll be the only one sleeping here, got it.” You ignore Kidd’s goading, leaning in to press your forehead against Killer’s mask instead when he tells you that he’s going to make sure the others settle in okay and that he’ll make it up for leaving you to hold down the fort later. When you turn back to your captain, you could’ve sworn that the expression he wore was treading dangerously close to a pout. “Must be sore, huh? We’ve been walking for three days now.” “Oh fuck off, it’ll take a lot more than that to mess my shit.” “Of course, Cap’. I’m gonna at least shower though. Join me if you want, unless you’re too much of a ‘tough guy’ for basic hygiene, too.” You snark at him over your shoulder, paying no mind to Kidd’s warning growl as you towel up and head for the bathroom. The warm water is a godsend on your back, washing away half a week’s worth of grime and loosening the tension in your shoulders. Soon enough, your captain appears by the door, surly as ever. There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that he’d fit in the tub with you but he makes do with a stool from underneath the sink. You fawn and coo over him, washing out the dirt and god knows what else from his hair - Kidd doesn’t complain, much. He’s taking a much needed load off. Not until you dump a ladle of water over his head and it turns into and all out war. Killer arrives just in time to pull you out of the ‘deadly’ headlock Kidd traps you with - face fully buried in his tits, of course. It’s not long until Kil’s tosses his worn down jeans to join his lovers under the heavenly spray of warm water on his aches and sores either. There isn’t much space to move around, but you make do in the tub; Kidd leant back against it while you rest your head in the crook of his neck, hand absentmindedly grazing over his chest, Killer gently massaging away the dull throb in his stump despite all Kid’s posturing about being “too strong” to need rest on their way here. Fortunately, the bath (and pampering) was what your captain needed to pull the stick out of his ass. Kidd is still none too pleased when he looks at the place he’ll be resting his head tonight but only leaves it at a vague grumble this time, whacking it thoroughly with his towel to get rid of the anything he must’ve brought in when he laid down earlier. Killer takes a seat by the desk, you both dry different sections of the shaggy blonde fluff coming from his head, now surprisingly soft after at least a couple of hours in the shower. You can’t help but smile when Killer pulls you down to plant a kiss on your neck, the tickle of his goatee makes you laugh. Somehow, the three of you manage to jenga yourselves into a position that was at the very least bearable, that old motel bed somehow miraculously retaining it’s integrity under the weight of two larger than grown average men and one average adult pressed between them. It’s hardly anything to write home about, but as you drift off against Kidd’s arm for the night, both of Killer’s wrapped snugly around your midsection, you thank the stars that the crew was adamantly against the idea enough to deter Kidd from taking a previous path that would have lead all of you into the jungle instead.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Hide and Seek | Kang Seulgi

police!seulgi x criminal!reader au

word count: 5.2k

genre and warnings: angst, suggestive, violence

(i do not own anything except this story)

------------------

“Hands in the air where I can see them- and drop your weapons.”

A smirk creeped on my face as her voice rang through my ears- the familiar voice I was addicted to now. I did as I was told and dropped my dagger on the ground, the clattering of it ringing in the empty alley.

Empty except for me, my prey who had run away thanks to the police officer who was now twisting my hands behind my back, clipping handcuffs while I just smiled.

It was her. Again.

“You are under arrest for the attempted murder of an innocent civilian. You have the right to an attorney-”

“Oh please,” sarcasm dripped from my voice, “We’ve done this so many times, Seulgi. No need to repeat the same shit-”

“That’s Officer Kang to you,” she tightened her hold on my handcuffs, “Mind your manners.”

I scoffed, “You know, there’s another scenario that could be playing right now, with you handcuffing me- ouch!”

“Say things like this again and I’ll dig this gun deeper in your back- and maybe even shoot,” She growled in my ear, pushing me forward, making me walk to the police car. “Get inside.”

I huffed, obeying, pretending to look out of the car and watch the city fade by as we travelled to the police station, when in reality, my mind was occupied with two things, one of which was observing every step the police took and taking in everything- the escape routes, the protocols, etc.

The other… well. It concerned the very pretty officer sitting in the first seat-

“How many times are we going to do this?” Seulgi sighed, “We are one step away from getting your lawyer off your back, and then you won’t be able to walk free in the streets, ever.”

“That one step, honey, is gonna be one very long step and before you take that, I’ll have my backup ready.”

“Why are you even talking to this psycho?” The driver, a very annoying and fat man, scowled at me through the rear view mirror, “Don’t let this shit get through your head-”

“Don’t let me get through your head, mister.”

“Shut up,” Seulgi glared at the two of us, “My head is about to burst, I need silence.”

Unlike the other times when I would keep rambling nonsense and keep teasing Seulgi, this time, I kept quiet. Very, very quiet. And it was getting harder to hide the smirk from my face to see Seulgi squirming in the front seat, my gaze burning her, until she finally looked back at me, just a few minutes away from the station.

“You’re quiet today.”

I didn’t reply. Let it get to her. I only met eyes with her once, no sign of any emotion on my face and continued looking outside.

Let her think she had me this time. Let them think they have the upper hand.

As soon as we reached, I was escorted straight into my cell. The people here were familiar with me now- the maniac who never killed but almost did every time, the spoiled brat with connections so I was let out every time I attempted something. I was free.

And I was in control- I had everyone in the palm of my hand.

I knew Seulgi was watching me while she did whatever she was doing- wondering why no one was coming to my escape this time, wondering why I had rejected the offer of a phone call that I always took.

I felt victorious when, after a few hours, everyone had left-leaving me and Seulgi, who was packing her stuff to go home.

“Always working late, are you?”

With satisfaction, I watched Seulgi jerk at my voice- as she had almost forgotten I was still here. She confirmed my suspicion by saying it out loud.

“What are you really doing here?” Seulgi, finally having finished up, stood in front of my cell.

“You tell me, officer.”

Seulgi scoffed, “Officer? I’m seeing a lot of firsts from you today.”

I scoffed. “What are you doing, Seulgi? I thought you couldn’t stand the sight of me- as you’ve so often told me. What are you doing here, standing so close to me?”

The way her body jerked as if she hadn’t noticed me come closer and closer every second brought a grin to my face. She tried taking a step back, but I grabbed her wrist- making sure my grip was loose but not loose enough. My thumb caressed her wrist but I made no effort to bring her closer. But from the look on her face- her eyes wide and mouth parted open in surprise, she knew I could do so many things to her.

But I didn’t.

I let her go.

Seulgi glanced at her wrist, then back at me, her expressions soon changing into a glare. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“You tell me, Seulgi,” I sat back on the floor. “What do you think I’m doing?”

With that, Seulgi left and my body rumbled with laughter.

This was going to be fun.

-------------

I was released the very next morning. And it seemed my plan had worked perfectly.

It had become a game of hide-and-seek now; me, who always got caught just at the right time by Officer Kang. It was a wonder that no one had made the connection yet.

I smiled as I wore my black outfit, gloves and mask- tonight was going to be fun.

Seulgi, of course, had been as disturbed as always to see me get released and not being escorted to the prison despite my long list of attempted murders. I always told her she should blame the people of this country for not abiding by the law and catching criminals like me instead of blaming me.

And she, of course, did not understand that.

Just before I had stepped out of the police station after being released, I had caught Seulgi’s eye- a very intense glare. I raised an eyebrow, and she just muttered that she won’t let me get away.

“You wouldn’t have to, Seulgi. Next time, you don’t have to let me get away.”

With a wink, I left, leaving her eyes wide with confusion.

I tightened my gloves as I ran over the plan again. Truthfully, I hadn’t the whole plan etched in my mind- but I knew how to get where I wanted to.

It was going to be the same trick- just the game that would be different this time.

Right before midnight, I left, knives sticking out from my belt hidden by the long raincoat I wore, strolling through streets and alleys until I finally found my prey.

A group of three girls were bullying one girl. A smirk formed on my face as I watched them, not attempting to break the thing apart. I decided to follow one of the bullies- the one who looked like the leader.

But before that, I walked to the victim, looming over her beaten figure, not offering her help, just observing her.

“How long are you going to be weak?”

“Don’t rub it in my face,” she moaned in pain, “Who are you anyway? Another bully?”

I shook my head, bending down to face her, “Do you want me to get rid of your bullies?”

I didn’t miss the glint that passed her eyes before they furrowed in confusion, “What are you going to do?”

“You should call the police,” I got up, straightening my coat and putting a hand on one of my knives, making sure the girl saw it and her eyes went wide with horror, “Tell them the girl’s about to get murdered. Tell them where I will be. And if you scream, it won’t be her who’s getting murdered tonight. Just do as I said.”

The girl had to gulp twice and slap herself before she took out her phone and I winked at her before following the trail of my prey. The other two girls were saying goodbye, and my prey was walking all alone in an alley.

“Perfect,” I muttered, following her until I heard the familiar blare of police sirens, right when I ran at her and threw her to the ground.

“Hello, little bully,” I pointed the knife at her face, “Want me to carve that permanent smirk you so like to wear?”

She screamed and I hit her temple with the hilt of my knife, “Shut up, bitch. This is what you get for being a scum.”

“I-I won’t do it again, I pro-promise. I’m sorry!”

I threw my head back as I laughed, dragging the knife down her arm, making blood spill, the girl struggling to move but failing because of how I had her trapped with my body on top of her. “How does this feel, sweetheart?”

I took my sweet time tormenting her, leaving little scars here and there until I heard the footsteps draw closer, which was when I raised my knife in the air-

“Hands in the air!”

I smirked, but pretended to sag with disappointment as I turned around, grinning as I saw Seulgi pointing her gun at me, and I dropped my weapon.

This was the last time I was dropping my weapon. The last time I was going to be submissive.

“There you go,” I shrugged, and Seulgi came to handcuff me, and as soon as she had cuffed my left hand, I grabbed her hands from my right hand and brought her closer, making her bump into me as she tried to wriggle away, horrified.

“Alone tonight, are you?” I scoffed, “Fell right into my trap, Seulgi.”

“What trap?” Seulgi scowled, glaring at me. I grabbed both her wrists by my cuffed hand while my free hand ran over her uniformed body.

“You ever wonder why I never actually murdered anyone?”

Seulgi raised a brow, “Because you don’t have the guts?”

I gave her a pointed look, “Nice of a police officer to provoke a potential murderer. No, Seulgi. It’s to mess with that little, stupid head of yours. Look at you, so distracted. Do you like me holding you like this?”

Seulgi turned her face away as I laughed in her hair, my face travelling down until I was breathing in her neck. I brought my mouth to her ear to whisper:

“I don’t see you struggling, sweetheart.”

She pushed me away, and I shook my head in warning, revealing her hand cuffed with mine, twirling the key to the handcuffs in my finger, proving just how distracted she had been to not notice me fishing out the key from her pocket.

“I swear to god, if you don’t give it back this instance-”

“Chill!” I un-cuffed her and put the key back in her pocket, “I was just messing with you.”

“You are under arrest for attempted murder, bla bla, you know the drill now, don’t you?” Seulgi, finally calming down after having taken a deep breath, dragged me to the car as she said the usual words, making me sit in the backseat.

It was time to play with her.

As we drove in silence, I scooted in the middle, staring holes into her. Seulgi tried her best to ignore me as she drove.

“I wonder why everyone was so busy tonight,” I pretended to play innocent, “It’s not like they had new evidence on a cold case, right?”

Seulgi almost hit the brakes as realization settled in. “What are you playing at?”

“You have two choices, Seulgi. You know I planned this. You can let me go and this game we’re playing will end right here. Or… you can take me to the station and you’ll become a player in my game- you’re already halfway in, by the way.”

“What. Game. Are. You. Playing. At?”

Seulgi was seething- something that made me grin. “Hide-and-seek, Seulgi. I know how you love to play that with me.”

Seulgi was breathing deeply now, as she tried to concentrate on her driving. The two minutes to the station while she made her decision had to be the longest two minutes of her life. She stopped the car in the parking lot, both her hands still on the steering wheel as she racked her brain, trying to come to a decision.

“We don’t have all night, Seulgi.”

“I can’t let you go.”

I raised my brow, a grin creeping on my face, making her roll her eyes. “I mean, I can’t let you roam around the streets and let you kill someone, as much as I would love to let you go and never see you again. So, you’re coming with me.”

“You are so gonna regret this before you start to love this.”

“I don’t know what’s going on in your head,” Seulgi got out of the car, opening the door and grabbing me by my arm harshly. “But this is over for you now. Whatever game you think you are playing, it’s not gonna work-”

I stiffened, turning harshly and putting my cuffed arms around her neck so that Seulgi was trapped between me and the car, smirking as I stared down at her, her eyes wide. I let her feel the adrenaline I knew she was feeling as I pressed my knee on her thigh, making her breath hitch.

I scanned her face slowly, making sure she noticed, before saying:

“It’s already working.”

She didn’t take her eyes off me for the few moments before we were interrupted by one of the officers threatening to shoot me if I tried something. I sighed, letting Seulgi go, waving my cuffed hands at the officer, satisfied when I saw her trying to get herself together.

“There’s only two reasons you’d look the way you’re looking right now, sweetheart. A dishevelled, flustered mess. One of them is that you’re scared of me- which I know you’re not. So… you know what it is now.”

“Don’t think for a second that I could ever feel that way about you-”

“What way, exactly, are you talking about?” I raised my brow, feigning innocence.

Seulgi, defeated, sighed before grabbing my arm harshly and taking out her gun, digging it into my back, earning a groan from me. “You’re shit.”

“Can’t say I’m not,” I let her drag me to the cell, watching her the entire time she was in my vision, pleased to see her squirming due to my burning gaze. I waited until everyone was gone or sleeping before starting to whistle.

“Can you keep it down?” Seulgi slammed her file on the table, and I turned to raise a brow at her.

“Make me.”

Seulgi only rolled her eyes, and I continued to whistle the same tune over and over until I saw Seulgi freeze from the corner of my eye.

“Made the connection yet?”

Her mouth was parted open in surprise as she racked her brain for where she had heard this specific tune-

“You followed me?”

“Did I now?”

Seulgi slammed a hand on the desk, rushing to my cell, gripping the bars, “How long have you been following me?”

I got up, treading towards her, licking my lips as I scanned her tense figure. “How long do you think?”

“Can you, for once, answer my question without a question?”

“I can, if you come inside.”

Seulgi bit her lip, thinking of whether she should be stupid and enter or be wise and just let me be. I smiled internally in satisfaction- her eyes betrayed her, always.

“I guess you’re not coming inside. Go away if you’re not.”

I turned to sit, but stopped when I heard the keys clinging, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling this time. She had taken the bait. Entering, she shut the door, putting her hands on her hips.

“Spill.”

“Where do you think you heard it?”

“I don’t think there’s one specific place…”

“Correct. Do you remember when we first met?”

Seulgi scoffed, “I don’t think I can forget the first time I handcuffed you- you were an animal-”

“Uh, let’s skip that part. Sure, I might have been a tad bit… aggressive. But Officer, that wasn’t the first time we met.”

Seulgi felt like a bucket of cold water had dropped on her. She stumbled a step back in realization, “It can’t be…”

“Oh, but it is, Officer.”

Seulgi was having a rough day- she had a very messy blind date, she wasn’t doing well with the murder case her squad was handling, and she just needed a break.

She sat on the bench in the very empty park, looking up at the dark sky. Even the moon was hidden. She sighed, wondering how she would ever muster up the strength to go back home.

Her attention was caught by a faint whistling tune. She turned her head to look around but there was no one there. She busied herself scrolling mindlessly through her phone when she heard footsteps, ignoring what sounded like a person jogging until the said person stopped in front of her, panting for breath.

“Can I sit here? I don’t have the strength to jog to the next bench.”

Seulgi eyed the person standing in front of her, shrugging as she nodded, and watched as the person took a long drink of water before smiling at her.

“Why jog at this time of the night? It’s not really safe out here these days.”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I’m a police officer, actually.”

“Then I’m safe, Officer.”

Seulgi shook her head, bringing herself back to her senses. “But you… You’re not…”

“Do you remember that time, Seulgi? You and me, sitting on the bench all night while you let your guard down and talked about how you had such a bad day…” I creeped forward, Seulgi frozen in her spot, “I’m surprised you didn’t recognize me earlier. My disguise isn’t that perfect.”

If Seulgi was being honest with herself, she would have admitted that she had been reminded of the person she’d met that night once or maybe twice. But she had pushed it off as it just being a resemblance.

Because there was no way this was happening, right?

“I know you want me, Seulgi. Do you remember that time I was injured and you tended to my wounds like a good little girl?”

The both of us immediately went down memory lane-

“Are you stupid? Why would you risk your life apart from the victim’s?”

“Don’t tell me you care about my life, Officer.”

“I’m just extremely annoyed right now because there is no one in the station except you and me. Why do I have to be your nurse?”

“Oh come on. I’ll go to the hospital when I’m let out tomorrow- you know I will. I just need you to do something about this quick-” I pointed at the gash that ran down my arm, from near the elbow all the way down to the wrist. Seulgi rolled her eyes, searching for the first aid kit and then putting it outside the cell first, taking out the key to the handcuffs and entering, cuffing my unhurt arm with the bar.

Bringing a stool in front of me, she gripped my arm, turning it around to examine the bleeding scar, pretending my gaze wasn’t burning her. She glared at me once before cleaning the wound while I just watched her gentle movements.

“Why are you so kind, Seulgi?”

“What do you mean?”

“You shouldn’t be doing this. I’m a… criminal. But you always make sure I have water, or food- if I insist.  And you… care about people even when they’re like me. Why?”

“It’s my job-”

“No, this- this isn’t your job,” I sighed. I wasn’t particularly feeling high and ‘manic’ like my other days. Tonight wasn’t planned. It was just an unfortunate incident where I got caught and Seulgi being like this… wasn’t helping.

Seulgi put the cotton down and locked eyes with me. “You’re all humans. I cannot leave anyone like this.”

I just stared at her, my gaze going down to her parted lips. She noticed, clearing her throat and continuing to clean the wound.

“Do you ever think about leaving this job, just escaping from everything else and starting new?”

“Do you?” Seulgi started applying an ointment on my wound.

“We all do, don’t we?” I sighed, “If I had the chance… I’d leave, Seulgi. I’d leave this life behind, go to an island… or maybe the mountains. It would be just me and my cats-”

“Cats?” Seulgi laughed a little, and I smiled, despite myself.

“Yes, Seulgi, cats. I don’t always go around bloodthirsty, you know. I have a life too.”

“Right.”

“Anyways, I’d bake cookies. The house would be small, and there would be books, and I’d sit by the fireplace. Sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“It does, actually,” she nodded, and I noticed she was done, but still had my arm in her hand, staring at the wound.

“It’d obviously be better if I had human company too…”

“So you could kill them later?” Seulgi finally looked up at me.

“I’d never do that to you.”

For a second, Seulgi was surprised- and so was I, because I had obviously been thinking of her when I said that. Seulgi shook her head, tucking her hair behind as she started packing the first aid kit, about to leave when I gripped her hand.

“Can you… stay with me- for a few minutes? I… tonight wasn’t something I was expecting.”

Seulgi wasn’t sure what I was referring to, but she put her kit down. “You sound vulnerable. For once.”

“I am,” I admitted, slumping back, “I am so vulnerable right now that you can do whatever you please with me. Kill me, kiss me, I won’t care.”

“There is no killing or kissing happening,” Seulgi shook her head, but I smiled when I saw a ghost of a smile on her face too, “As much as I would like…”

“Kissing me?”

“Killing you,” Seulgi smiled sarcastically, “I’d have to hold my temptations.”

“And if I can’t hold mine?” I leaned forward, taking her hand in my free hand, bringing her closer, “if I can’t resist?”

“Killing me?” Seulgi asked.

“Does it look like I’m about to kill you?” I asked, my eyes scanning her face, the two of us so close we could feel each other’s breath on our skin.

Seulgi made no move to scoot away- as if mesmerized, she sat still, only her eyes roaming around my face, as if trying to read what I was thinking.

“You can go, if you want to,” I whispered, my hand caressing her arm and then moving up her chest, all the way to her neck, until it went to cup her face, and Seulgi couldn’t calm the roiling in her stomach.

How could someone as savage as the person in front of her have such a fragile touch? Hold her like she could break?

She forgot what I had just said, her breath quickening every second as I drew closer and closer, until our foreheads were joined. But I heard the sound of the keys dangling. We had company.

I drew back, scanning her face once before kissing her forehead, good and slow. “We have company. Go.”

Seulgi sat frozen in her spot- until I tapped her face lightly. “Go.”

She stumbled as she took the kit and left, forgetting to cuff me back. I just slumped back, watching her, smiling at how the night had turned out.

“So,” I smirked at how Seulgi was clenching her head now, as she made all the connections.

“Are you… doing this all on purpose? How long have you planned this?”

“Would you believe me if I told you it wasn’t on purpose? That our first meeting- as normal people, and as a police and a criminal were both coincidental?”

“I don’t think I can…”

“Come on,” I turned around, pretending to walk in the cell when I was actually un-cuffing myself from the key I had replaced in Seulgi’s pocket. “I’m a criminal, maybe, yes, but I’m not a liar.”

“I wouldn’t put that past you,” Seulgi countered, “You’ve been stalking me. Am I one of your next ‘victims’? Is this what all of this is about?”

I turned, smiling, approaching her until we were face to face. “Look at me, Seulgi. Look me in the eyes and tell me if I’m lying.”

While she took the bait and looked me in the eyes, I took the cuffs off one hand, took her gun out of her pocket in the blink of an eye and before she could react, I threw it outside the cell from the slightly open door, her neck whipping as she saw just what I had done, and I gripped both her wrists.

“Got you.”

In a second, I cuffed her right hand with my left and threw the key outside too.

“Are you out of your mind!” Seulgi slapped my face- or at least tried to- she was interrupted with me dragging her across and shutting the cell, the keys outside dropping to the floor.

“Oh my god,” Seulgi, horrified, slammed her fist in my chest repeatedly, “What have you done!”

“I told you to let me go, didn’t I?” I growled in her ear, and she went still, her fist still on my chest as she sighed in frustration. “You did this, Seulgi.”

I put her dark hair behind her shoulder, running my fingers across her jaw as I whispered, “It’s just you and me tonight here, baby. I made sure of that. No one will know what happened, not even the cameras- it would be over before the morning. So relax… and let go.”

Seulgi was helpless- she couldn’t do anything now- and ashamed. She had been too distracted. She had played right into this trap.

“Relax,” I whispered, bringing my lips to her ears, trailing it down her jaw as I tilted her face up, “I know you want this.

“Why are you doing this to me?” She almost whispered, “Why me?”

“You had me, Seulgi. Right from the very beginning. There’s just something about you that I couldn’t resist. I’m all yours- do whatever you want with me.”

Seulgi bit her lip, trying to hold herself together, but every move I was making was affecting her, shaking her from the inside out. Her legs were growing weaker, and she wasn’t sure if it was from the situation she had just caught herself in- or something else entirely.

“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to do this.”

I held her chin in my hand as I kissed her right cheekbone, then her left, locking eyes with her- but she wasn’t looking at me anymore.

“Don’t look away from me, Seulgi. There’s nothing wrong with what you feel right now… we’re all… humans, aren’t we?”

Seulgi scoffed at me quoting her but changing the context entirely. I nudged her face up and she finally looked at me, her eyes glazed.

“This is wrong-“

“There’s nothing wrong with this,” I assured her, “Obviously would have been better if we were in different circumstances, but Seulgi- there’s nothing wrong with this.”

It was like she was compelled- she shut her eyes, unable to hold the eye contact any longer. I smiled as I rubbed my nose with her, her sighs fuelling me.

“Tell me you want this. Tell me you do.”

I planted butterfly kisses on her face, stopping before I reached her lips.

“I’m going to ask you one last time. Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll let you go right now. Tell me you want this-”

My breath hitched when I felt her fisting my shirt, her other hand that was cuffed to mine intertwining, her nails digging into my skin.

“Don’t make me say it out loud,” she whispered, despite herself.

She should be fired from her job. She was going to be so ashamed after this- but she couldn’t stop. She brought me closer and I cupped her face as I brought her lips to mine.

It was indescribable- the feeling of finally having someone- this forbidden something we had- but it was like a drug, and she felt it too as she kissed me back with a need I didn’t know she had in her. Her hand went to cup my face as well, my breath hitching this time as she kissed me, harshly, as if she was punishing me through this.

“Slow down,” I broke apart, smirking.

“Slow down?” Seulgi mocked, “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

My brows furrowed in confusion, but when she pecked my lips lightly this time, I relaxed.

“I shouldn’t be doing this, should I?”

“Let’s not think about that,” I kissed her, slow this time, taking in the marvelling feeling of how our lips fit as if made for each other, our stomachs roiling as our free hands roamed around, until she bit my lip and I took that as a sign to put my tongue in her mouth, our kisses growing quicker and more passionate as we made out.

Seulgi pushed me back and back until I hit the wall, and I growled into her mouth- it was time to show her who really was in control. I turned and slammed her body into the wall, my knee going in between her legs making her breath hitch harshly as she stared at me, eyes full with lust.

“Look at you,” I caressed her jaw with my thumb, “Look at how much you want this.”

For maybe an hour it was just us making out, whispering dirty little things in each other’s ears, me telling her that this was okay, that us made sense, that we should just forget about being a cop and a criminal while we were at it.

“Seulgi,” I sighed into her ear while she was playing with my neck, “Do you want to run away with me?”

Seulgi paused, burying her face in the crook of my neck and I hugged her this time, somehow the hug hitting me harder than the passionate make-out we just had. “We could have that life, Seulgi. Your dream life- whatever you want, wherever you want. Just say the word.”

“What about work, and my friends-”

“It’s your choice, Seulgi. I won’t force you into this. I know you have a life here- however… boring it may be. We’ll have to stay low-profile for a good while and then, if you want, we can let your friends- only the close ones- know. They won’t recognize me anyway so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Our cuffed hands were caressing each other as she thought, and I just melted into the hug because if she disagreed… it would be our last time being this close to each other.

“If I don’t agree?”

I sighed, kissing her head, “I’ll leave. Forever. I can’t have a forced relation- not with you.”

Her arm around my waist tightened.

“Then let’s run away.”

[stellarlex]

What are your thoughts about Adrien/Cat Noir?

You got me started, so I won’t mince words.

Adrien is a pain in the ass.

The way the show constantly makes it seem like he’s in the right when he absolutely fucking ISN’T is something that has infuriated me for a very long time. The writing makes him seem perfect but he isn’t. He’s not even a good friend, and Marinette’s crush addled brain forces her to listen to his garbage advice even though she knows better and is more experienced in social matters.

This fucking kid has only been breathing fresh fucking air for a few months and somehow he’s suddenly a fucking expert on how to deal with bullies and manipulators. That’s how he comes off to Marinette with how often he lets Chloe’s shitty behavior slide or his dumb advice about Lila: “Making a bad guy suffer has never turned them into a good guy.” Or, “If you humiliate her he’ll just be hurt more.”

But Chloé gets to humiliate and hurt others with barely any consequences from anyone, let alone Adrien. And Lila just gets to publicly make fools out of anyone who believes her nonsensical bullshit. And it’s only appropriate to chastise them only AFTER someone has been humiliated, hurt, and even EXPELLED right Adrien?

And sure, I can acknowledge when Adrien has his moments of a spine but it never lasts and always falls through. People are constantly screaming “but his dad and his childhood and he’s so sheltered and can’t stand up to anyone !” but forget that he chose to be a superhero and fight evil and has stood up to people.

I mean he stands up for Chloé and Lila quite a bit no matter who they hurt. He had no problem standing up to Marinette and shaming her and the others when they were rightfully happy that Chloé, their longtime tormentor and bully was leaving. He gets to be sad that Chloé is leaving and shame on anyone who is happy about that.

He was so concerned that Chloé left hurt and humiliated, (which was her own fault for trying to lie about her school project and after the bullshit she pulled with the Bee Miraculous) that he didn’t care about how badly Chloé made others feel on a daily basis. They were rightfully relieved to have Chloé gone and to celebrate having some peace in school for fucking once.

He seemed to have forgotten about how she nearly killed a train full of fucking people to make herself look like a hero. How soon he forgets how Chloé sabotaged Marinette’s great uncle, how she treats Sabrina, how she broke into Marinette’s room and stole her diary to win a class president election, stole Marinette’s hat design and tried to frame her for stealing, how she broke into Marinette’s locker and vandalized her gift to Bustier. Just so many things.

But noooo. That’s not important. What’s important was that HIS FRIEND was sad and that all her bad behavior is negated and that they shouldn’t celebrate her leaving because SHE kept HIM company when he was kept inside his home. Nothing else matters Right Adrien?

And let’s not forget about Lila. I’ve heard so many bullshit excuses about why he won’t expose Lila and it pisses me off something fierce:

“He doesn’t know that Lila threatened Marinette!” “Marinette didn’t tell him about the threat!” “He can’t stand up for himself because he’s scared his dad will pull him out of school!” “He’s scared of Lila!” “But his upbringing” “But his dad!” “He doesn’t have evidence!” “His advice is right!” “He doesn’t know how dangerous Lila is!”

ALL. COMPLETE. BULLSHIT.

Especially that last one. There has been multiple occasions where Lila has proven how dangerous she is outside of being akuamtized but he still won’t expose her. The time she got Kagami akumatized and WILLINGLY helped Oni-Chan, was proven true by the horn on her head growing every time she lied. Adrien as Chat Noir saw this. Ladybug warned him. A FIREFIGHTER examined Lila’s ankle and basically said she was full of shit about her injury and saw Chat Noir chew her out over her willingly helping an akuma.

Still don’t know how the firefighter didn’t report that to the cops but then I remember that Thomas Astruc is shit and I say to myself, “Ah, that’s why.”

Adrien knew then especially how dangerous Lila was. He even warned Ladybug about her. If I was Ladybug I’d have said “Yeah, no shit. I tried to tell you that 5 minutes ago but sure.” But instead of outing Lila, he still says NOTHING and continues to let her lie and promise his friends things she can’t possibly deliver, continues to let her mess with his friends dreams because she’ll be “hurt more.”

When was this bitch hurt at school I wanna know.

Also, there’s the fact that Adrien has chewed Lila out multiple times about her behavior, so he’s not afraid to stand up to her. He’s even done it in public where anyone can hear him like in school. But he just keeps giving her chances. I was excited when he chewed Lila out after “Ladybug” but then that quickly went away when he said that he didn’t have any proof.

But he does have proof of her lying. He was there when Ladybug chewed Lila out about her lying. If he spoke up about that, they would believe him because he doesn’t have a motive to speak against Lila, like the way others were skeptical of Marinette’s claims because of her crush on Adrien. There’s also the fact that she lied to get into his house and got Nathalie and his bodyguard into trouble.

There is a picture she sent out to multiple people so she can’t rebut that. And then the whole shit about framing Marinette and the red butterflies. He should have spilled all the fucking tea but he still kept his mouth shut. If his little talk with Lila hadn’t panned out Marinette would still be out of school and she would look like some horrible villain and no one would doubt Lila.

But noooooo. Lila will be humiliated, she’ll be hurt. It wouldn’t make her a good guy.

Screw you Adrien.

As for Chat Noir....

*breathes in*

He needs to get a fucking reality check or he needs to not have a miraculous. Yeah. I said it.

Here’s a special message for him:

Ladybug said no. Stop asking her to date you. Stop trying to make plans or trick her into romantic situations with you. Don’t throw tantrums because she doesn’t tell you things or because she won’t do what you want. Stop goofing off during battles. Stop sacrificing yourself you absolute DUMBASS.

Sincerely, me.

It boggles me why he gets to do all the shit he does and has no fucking consequences. Marinette’s toe can’t even twitch without someone breathing down her fucking neck about being the bigger person or just chastising her for not living up to the standards of a Ladybug.

I’m looking at you Tikki.

But Adrien gets to just do all kinds of shit without a HINT of consequences as Chat Noir. It’s fucking WILD. But apparently to some it’s more important that he keeps Plagg because he’s lonely and he shouldn’t be trapped inside his house with Gabriel.

That’s not what a miraculous is for??!?!!?!?!! 🥴

And sure, Marinette has had some slip ups as Ladybug. But not nearly as many as Adrien has as Chat Noir. But like I said, Marinette gets blamed for anything by any and everyone whether she’s Ladybug or not. Tikki and Alya chastised her because she entered the game tournament to spend time with Adrien.

WHY??

She didn’t cheat, she entered fairly and played fairly and won fairly just like Adrien did. But because it was to spend time with Adrien it was wrong. Even Max’s sore loser ass admitted before he left that Marinette beat him fair and square. It’s a competition. He wasn’t entitled to have a spot. He even looked upset when Adrien beat him and Adrien had a worried look on his face. Tikki even chastises Marinette saying that there were better ways to spend time with Adrien.

But there WEREN’T.

Adrien’s time is so closely monitored that he barely ever gets time to spend with friends. That was the only chance Marinette had to spend time with Adrien. But of course Marinette gets the heat for it.

But Adrien gets nearly nothing when he causes Copy Cat because of his lie about Ladybug. He gets to throw a tantrum because Ladybug didn’t come to a picnic she never agreed to in the first place with no consequences. He gets to be upset about Ladybug having someone she loved and refuse to work together with her. And it’s all just glossed over.

But Marinette? Everything she does is always wrong. She has no choice but to be perfect or somehow the whole fucking world ends. And while it’s not right, Adrien only has to look perfect for his dad’s company. The amount of pressure isn’t the same. He gets to be carefree in at least half of his life, but Marinette is always under pressure and always judged harshly while Adrien gets to fuck up with barely any consequences or repercussions.

In conclusion, I’m so tired of this “sunshine boy”. You asked for this, and I delivered.

[technowoah]

since I'm a gremlin I can ask for a c!Schlatt angst fighting with reader while he's drunk and the reader is just fed up with dealing with him and goes "IF YOU LIKE SO MUCH TALKING YOU DON'T NEED ME I'M LEAVING!" and just walks away and he realizes the shit he's done?

(the same anon who wasn't prepared to be heartbroken-)

Heartless

Somehow you find your way back to Schlatt again and it never goes as well as you think.

- c!schlatt x reader

- angst

- anon!requested

- part 1 to this story

⚠︎: swearing, angst, alcoholism, mentions of dying, c!quackity makes a appearance, hopefully this is sad enough yall-

An// i decided to make this a part 2 to Have a Heart! So I hope you enjoy love!

The night is still cold and dark as you begrudgingly walk back to one of the buildings that was put up to replace whatever L'Manburg was there before. 

After Dream's word you had still contemplated going back to Schlatt. He doesn't deserve what you do, but you still end up walking along the Prime Path back to the drunken man. You had no end goal and that was a problem. You probably were going to be embarrassed that you came back to him. You couldn't let Schlatt die, from either the hands of someone else or let him die from himself.

You eventually found yourself in front of the metal doors that led into endless hallways of offices nobody occupied. The offices that had wine and cigarettes for Schlatt to smoke just in case he decided to have a meeting in a room that isn't the official meeting room. 

Walking down the hallways you saw that most of the doors to each office were open and most of the alcohol and cigarettes were taken from each room. You peaked inside every room to see if Schlatt was in there, but something in you told you not to because you weren't prepared. What were you going to say? Stop drinking? Because you're sure he'll know he's not going to stop. You want to try to save him.

You slowly opened a door to reveal an office that looked an absolute mess. The small refrigerator was knocked over and all of the wine off the shelf was either shattered on the floor or gone. There were cigarette butts on the ground and lit a cigar, there were also papers and folders all across the room.

You whispered as you walked around the lit room "Schlatt must've been in here."

"Sure as hell he was!"

You spun around to see Quackity looking disheveled as ever. He had a bottle of liquor in his hand, his beanie threatened to fall off of his head and his suit now only a white button up with his dress pants still on.

"I've been running around this goddamn place trying to keep that ram man at peace! He's gonna drink himself to death." Quackity huffed while looking around the hallway.

"I know." 

"That's why you're here huh?"

You sighed at the realization. "Yes it is. I don't want him to drink himself to death. Death isn't what I want."

"Well, it's too late for that." Quackity faced away from you not wanting to look you in the eyes.

You stayed silent until Quackity spoke up again.

"You want me to take you to him? Wanna see him one last time before he dies-"

"Don't say that!" You rolled your eyes 

"Are you fucking kidding me? It's inevitable Y/N! His body is now 70 percent alcohol and his lungs are filled with smoke!" Quackity laughed in disbelief. "I don't want him to die! But its fucking inevitable. Either from someone else or-"

"Himself." You finished his sentence.

"Exactly!" He opened his mouth to speak again but apparently decided against it.

Quackity began to lead you out of the office and down the long hallway you two walked slowly not even knowing where Schlatt was in the whole building. You and Quackity made small talk.

"I hate this. I had to find this liquor and deliver it to him and now I can't find him."

"I came here to try and save him from himself and you're here feeding the problem."

"What else do you want me to do?" He grunted.

"Stop him!"

"If I stop him he's gonna be even worse so-!" Quackity threw up his hands in frustration as you two kept walking.

"I actually have something to tell you." Quackity spoke up after the silence.

"Quackity! Ah there you are!" Schlatt came around the corner behind you both and you turned around to meet the man you both have been looking for stumbling down the hallway.

"Ah you bitch! I thought I told you to leave!"

"Here we go." You rolled your eyes.

"Hey Schlatt! Here's the Liquor you wanted!" Quackity tried to liven up the situation by reaching the bottle out to Schlatt.

"He doesn't need it."

"Yeah I do, who are you to tell me what to do!" Schlatt yelled, not even taking the drink out of Quackity's hand. 

"Schlatt just calm down-"

"No! They made a mistake and they cant even do what I fucking say! They'll keep coming back to me, against my wishes!" Schlatt interrupted Quackity while flailing his arms around.

You stood still not wanting to hear him anymore. Ever since he won the presidential debate the first couple of months he's been sober with only a few drinks here and there. Now he's a full on alcoholic, only damaging himself and his presidency. It's a sad sight to see and you don't want to see it, so you can either run away and know it's still there or fix it and never see it again. 

"Schlatt I want to help." You hesitated before stepping forward.

"Same here Schlatt." Quackity agreed with you.

"You, you! Aren't any help!" He pointed directly at you while trying to keep himself upright. 

"How aren't I any help!?" You yelled back. "I've done everything for you and now you're digging yourself a grave Schlatt!"

"You think you're the best thing ever huh?! Im fucking fine! I can stand on my own two fucking feet!"

Schlatt wasn't standing up straight, he was stumbling either backwards or forward. His body threatened to fall onto the marble floor and he couldn't even stand up straight. His speech was slurring together as well you could barely understand him.

You finally responded to Schlatt. "Schlatt you're stumbling around like- like I don't even know what! I can't understand you and you just need to stop!"

"You're so useless! Not useful to me or my presidency! I can stand up straight and I'm completely fine shut the fuck up!" He yelled while leaning to the side.

"I'd rather die alone! Without you or Quackity." Schlatt yelled again

"That's what you're going to do anyways." Quackity whispered under his breath.

Schlatt kept babbling nonsense as his back slid down one of the walls as he sat on the floor. Head pulled to the side. It was a sad sight to see, you hated to see this man drink himself to death and apparently Quackity, who was looking at the ram man the same way, standing silently next to you.

"Schlatt this-"

"I dont fucking care what you think! You're the worst person I've ever met! You both made my life hell and that's why Im fucking drinking my life away so I wont see any of you're fucking faces!" Schlatt tried to stand up but failed in doing so.

He continued talking. "I am the best thing that happened to this country! I saved both of you from a tyrant! And you thank me by driving me into this state!" 

You felt your eyes threatening to spill tears the second time today.

"Schlatt that isn't me that's doing this shit!" 

"How the fuck would you know?!" 

"I can't. But Ive done every fucking thing for you! You cannot say I haven't!" You yelled back as he rolled his eyes with a rebuttal already on the tip of his tongue.

"Sure as hell I can! I have fucking proof-!"

"What proof?!" You interrupted his babbling even though he kept going.

"I- I!" he stammered not having a rebuttal this time.

"You're incapable of doing anything Schlatt let someone help you for fucks sake-"

"I'd rather die alone than sit here and be lectured by the likes of you!" Schlatt yelled.

"You are going to die alone, old man!" Quackity spoke up. "That's what they're trying to tell you!" 

"You shouldn't be giving me a lecture! Im the mother fucking president! I should be talking, but apparently its not fucking work-" 

"IF YOU LIKE SO MUCH TALKING YOU DON'T NEED ME I'M LEAVING!" You interrupted him and stomped down the hallway for the second time today.

As you walked down the hallway you heard a faint "wait" from Schlatt on the floor. You stopped and looked back to see Schlatt looking at you with some sort of realization in his eyes. Quackity was standing over him shaking his head.

"You know what? I don't even know why I helped you. Probably for power, but I don't need you for that." Quackity walked away towards your way. "Go ahead and die alone like you said old man." 

Quackity caught your gaze and he smiled and shook his head again. He finally reached where you were standing and started talking to you.

"Maybe this isn't a good time, maybe it is. But I am joining Pogtopia. Wilbur said he needs a lot of people for this to work so consider this an invitation." He gave you a thin lipped smile and walked past you giving you a good look at Schlatt, laying fully on the ground.

"Y/N wait, just hold on for a second." Schlatt said while on his side, not even bothering to look at you.

You didn't say anything and followed Quackity's path, down the hallway and out of the door. Behind you, you could only hear the distant groans and pleas of the drunken man behind you. You tried your best to help and that's all you could do. But you couldn't watch that man die.

Taglist: MCYT Imagines: @annshit @bobaducky @malfoysslutt @alec-lost-bee @egorldevi

[ask-octoberotto]

Hey Doc, if it's not too much trouble, would you be willing to give me a rundown on the Umbrella Corp. nonsense going on in your 'verse? Miles said that you're the person to ask.

To be honest, the whole thing sounds vaguely like a video game one of my friends used to play back in High School.

-@ask-aurachnid <3

Of course! Sorry I took a while answer this. Mostly because the history is… quite lengthy. And chances are I will definitely need a read more for even just scratching the surface.

I will say that… the dimension of Earth-2 seems to be entirely contained within a video game based universe. So, any similarities between this world’s history and a video game franchise is… not surprising but still a bit existential dread inducing nevertheless.

Anyways, since Miles gave you a much shorter explanation, I will provide a much longer one underneath the cut! Do prepare yourself, because now that I have a lot more access to information regarding Umbrella because I work with the BSAA, it is QUITE long.

Also I definitely sped through some of the truly nitty gritty details for the sake of time so do keep that in mind.

- 🔬

So, this entire mess started long before anyone I know was born (except for Mihai.. but I don’t want to include him), with Umbrella Corp’s official origins tracing back in the 1950s-1960s… though if you ask me, it technically goes back further than that if you account for the eugenics movements of the 19th and 20th centuries, but I digress.

So, some time in the early 1950s, then British medical student and aristocrat Dr. Oswell E. Spencer, would meet fellow then-students Dr. James Marcus and Dr. Edward Ashford and start stewing in their aspirations towards eugenics. At some point, Spencer goes on a solo hiking trip in the Carpathian Mountains and was soon found by cult leader and biologist referred to as ‘Mother Miranda’ where he was taken in as a protégé of hers.

From her experiments with a super colony of mutamycte (a genus of fungus that is capable of mutating those who have made contact with it, horizontal gene transfer, quorum sensing, store assimilated dna and memories, and in some cases, mind control… it’s a lot I know but just bear with me), he would become inspired by his studies with her to achieve his goal of changing the world by trying to make the supposed “next evolutionary step” for humanity…

Eventually he would leave Miranda since they ultimately had different goals (but apparently they still communicated after) and together with a circle of similar scientists with horrific worldviews, he and others would begin trying to find ways to achieve their goals. Starting 1966, Spencer and Marcus would begin trying to find a rare, ancient flower known as Sonnentreppe (or the Stairway to the Sun), which was native to West Africa.

See, this flower had religious significance to the Ndipaya people and according to them, this flower was able to bestow godlike abilities to those were able to survive consuming it. Within said flower, there was an mutagenic virus (now known as the Progenitor Virus) that was capable of achieving this… and they managed to “discover” it (or “discover” in terms of being white British imperialists stamping around in sacred ground of indigenous people) in a underground garden. However they couldn’t fund their eugenics pipe dreams with British aristocracy money alone so they created Umbrella Pharmaceuticals to help with costs of their experiments and also cover up their illegal activities. Then they also started secretly developing bio weaponry for various militaries in an attempt to accumulate more deadly viruses.

In enters the infamous T-virus project in the late 60s and 70s, where they developed strains of the Progenitor Virus to sell to the US military as a weapon. This project had two goals: to eliminate the need for a large scale army and to generate revenue for Spencer’s eugenics project, Project W/the Wesker Plan… Which that project’s ultimate goal was to make a race of “advanced human beings”. Because of course he wanted that. The results from T-virus project would eventually be used to keep those infected with the T-virus alive in a mentally-damaged, homicidal and cannibalistic state capable of maintaining activity after a cardiac arrest via its mutagenic properties.

At the same time, petty bullshit hits the fan when the three founders began to war with each other for control over Umbrella. Ashford would be killed by his own prototype t-virus in an accident supposedly masterminded by Spencer while Marcus was killed Umbrella Security Service. All of this and many other instances, would lead to Spencer become the sole man in charge.

Eventually the T-virus project expands further in creating chimeric animals that are designed be used by militaries to kill survivors… these would be the first commercial B.O.Ws. And this project would spawn other projects related to Progenitor such as the Tyrant Project, the Nemesis Project, and the Talos Project. All of these had the goal of creating superhuman and intelligent bioweapons. This is all during the 80s up to 1998.

In enters the 90s, and Umbrella has a lot of power and influences over various nations and especially had a lot of control in Arklay County/Raccoon City where they managed to cover up various crimes that would like back to them. Additionally, earlier in 1988, the G-virus was discovered by Dr. William Birkin at the Arklay Lab and eventually research for that would move to a new facility called the NEST nearby Raccon City in 1991.

But then things goes to from bad to astronomically worse in 1998 due to espionage by a then industrial spy for OsCorp, Ada Wong, and internal destabilization that began with a mysterious containment failure in May of that year. B.O.W.s escaped from confinement to run amok in the Arklay Mountains, killing and partially eating several hikers over the next two months and wounding others, who then turned into zombies. Umbrella fails to get this in order to so they turn to their successful subject from Project W, Albert Wesker, who is in charge of Umbrella-funded law enforcement team, S.T.A.R.s, to go to the Arklays. The plan was to get the other unsuspecting S.T.A.R.s members killed by the wandering B.O.W.s and zombies while Wesker was tasked with destroying evidence (which he failed to do or otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this), record combat data, recover important data, and then blow up the facility. However, Wesker was planning to leave Umbrella to join OsCorp since he saw it being a sinking ship. He fakes death and escapes the explosion he set out to do.

Then we have the beginning of the end for Umbrella, the Raccoon City Incident of 1998. From September 23 to October 1, this would be where after many outbreaks of t-virus, tens of thousands citizens would become infected through contaminated drinking water and grew extremely violent as the city began to fall apart. This was also not helped by deliberate coverups by both private company (Umbrella) and US government departments such as the Pentagon attempting to quell the worsening situation… and failing miserably because they all had many things to hide, especially with Umbrella using the apocalyptic situation as an opportunity to test their B.O.W.s on any survivors and others coming out the woodwork to steal Umbrella’s research. The situation rapidly deteriorates so badly that eventually, a decision was authorized by the President at the time to use experimental thermobaric bombs to destroy everything within Raccoon City. And they did, leaving nothing but a few survivors left. Most of these details were once covered up by the Government, with only portions of the destruction and the overall incident, namely the Umbrella Corporation's ties to it, being publicly revealed for Umbrella's shutdown and bankruptcy in 2003.

So… Umbrella Corp. Even though it has since been officially defunct for decades now, it still lives on in research done by other organizations that may or may not have had ties to Umbrella one way or another (*cough*OsCorp*cough*) and even today, the t-virus still remains a threat in urban areas. Though it’s extremely rare for a Raccoon City level event to happen these days, it took decades of bloodshed to effectively learn how to combat against these pathogens. If you ever want to blame someone for why things suck in this world, it doesn’t hurt to blame Spencer for causing untold amounts of suffering. Or just Umbrella in general.

[shera-dnd]

A Dream Come True

It’s finally here! The fic and comic you’ve all been waiting for! And it’s all catradora fluff as far as the eye can see.

I wanna thank my good friend @midnightechoes for her amazing work on the comic and to all the people who donated and helped us reach our 200 dollar goal.

And without any further delay, here’s the AO3 link (comic included) for those who’d rather read over there, and let’s get this nonsense going

Today was a big day for Etheria. It was the first Princess Prom since the fall of Prime, the first Princess Prom in many years to be celebrated in a time of peace and prosperity. So of course, Etheria’s great savior and protector was expected to make an appearance, and she was expected to look good.

Though if Adora asked just about anyone, they would claim that she always looked good. But she did want to put in the extra effort today. It took her some convincing from all of her friends to keep her from over planning and over preparing like last time.

There was no threat of war, no great enemy, no lies or intrigue, it would just be a ball with all the people she loved. She could just rest and relax tonight. So she put on a beautiful white dress, let her hair loose from its near permanent ponytail, donned a pretty little tiara, and just let herself not be combat ready for once.

Looking now at her own reflection in the room’s waterfall - the closest to a practical use she found to those wasteful things - she had to admit that she did look pretty, though for some reason she was struck by a strange sense of familiarity.

“Just let me brush it!” She heard Glimmer call from outside the room.

“No!” Catra yelled back as she ran into the room with the queen chasing after her, brush in hand.

Though Catra acted like she was running for life, they both still giggled. Catra tried to use her wife as cover from the queen’s attack, but Glimmer followed her anyway, and both just started running circles around Adora.

“Don’t let her touch me!” Catra yelled, hiding behind Adora, “she’s gonna torture me!”

“Do you always have to be this dramatic?” Glimmer asked, knowing full well that the answer was yes.

“Come on, guys,” Bow called, calmly walking in, “if we’re late to Scorpia’s first ball she’s gonna kill us.”

He pulled Glimmer closer and she leaned against him, hooking an arm around his back. For a moment there the queen seemed to forget about her plans to torture Catra, and just enjoyed that little display of affection from her husband.

“Fine, you’re off the hook,” she surrendered, but added just a little threat at the end, “this time.”

Catra stuck her tongue out at them, still using Adora for cover, as they left the room, leaving the two of them alone together. Once she was sure she was safe from Glimmer’s hairbrush, she stepped out from behind her wife and laughed a little to herself.

“You coming?” She asked, reaching a hand towards Adora.

The whole time Adora had been stunned. In equal parts by this constant feeling of dejavu, and by just how beautiful Catra looked right now. Her wife had always been a master of the casually gorgeous look, but this time she had completely out done herself.

“Etheria to Adora,” Catra called, playfully, “you still there, Adora?”

“Sorry, I just have this weird feeling that I’ve seen this before,” she explained, the feeling completely disappearing a moment later.

“What? Did you sneak a peek while me and Glimmer were putting the look together?” She teased.

“No!” Adora defended herself, “it’s just dejavu or something. I--you’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

Catra feigned offense, “such accusations from my own wife? I would never do such a thing.”

“Oh you little--!”

“Guys,” Bow interrupted again, calling from the hallway beyond, “Scorpia’s ball, remember?”

“Sorry, your majesty,” Adora shouted back, they both knew he didn’t like the title, but it was fun to mess with him sometimes.

That earned her a little laugh from Catra and a soft nudge to her side, “you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I think I am,” she answered, hooking her arm around Catra’s as they made their way out of the room.

They had barely stepped into the hallways of Bright Moon castle when they were stopped by a voice calling for them.

“Oh my goodness!” Exclaimed a very excited King Micah, “you both look stunning!”

The king had always been such a sweetheart, the man had nearly adopted the two of them after the war was over. After everything that had happened, it was nice seeing him this happy.

“Hey there, your majesty,” Catra greeted, “everything ready for the dance?”

“Indeed it is!” He replied, his bright smile growing wider, “before you go, though, I have a big surprise for you!”

“Oh?” 

With a dramatic flare worthy of Double Trouble, King Micah stepped aside to reveal…

The most adorable thing they’ve ever seen.

Behind the king stood their child. Little Finn looked as adorable as they looked annoyed at their new outfit, a lovely uniform in several shades of purple and beautiful gold accents. The kid was just short of ten years old, but they already looked like a fancy little dignitary of the kingdom. The only thing standing out from the illusion was their messy blonde hair.

“You look precious!” Adora squealed at the sight.

Catra gasped, holding on tighter to her wife’s arm. It was the only thing she could do not to run over and hug them right this instant.

“Moms!” Finn groaned, “please!”

Unfortunately their pleas for help were lost on their moms, who were still busy blabbering about how adorable they looked.

“Uncle Micah, do I really have to wear this? It’s itchy,” they complained, hoping their uncle would listen, “and lame.”

The king turned to address his little nibling, but was horrified by what he saw.

“How did you manage to mess up your hair in the five minutes since I finished it?!” He demanded, utterly shocked.

“It’s a skill, uncle,” Finn replied, giving him a smug look that clearly ran in the family.

Looking none too pleased with all that lost work, Micah drew a quick glyph in the air, using just a bit of magic to comb his nibling’s hair in an instant.

“There, fixed.” The king proudly declared, earning a hiss from the angry child.

And also earning him a hug from Adora.

“They look amazing,” she beamed, “thank you!”

“My pleasure, Adora,” he replied, his voice and expression growing softer, “I missed out on too many of these moments with Glimmer. I’m not going to miss any more of them.”

Meanwhile Catra no longer had Adora to hold on to to help contain herself, so she had dashed over to their child, too busy showering them with love and affection to notice the tender moment happening behind her.

“You are the cutest kid in all of Etheria,” she happily praised.

“Mom!” Finn groaned once more.

Adora let out a content sigh as she watched those two. She loved them with all her heart and they had made the past decade of her life better than she could have ever dreamed it would be.

“Thanks again,” she repeated to Micah, finally letting go of the hug.

Walking over to her family - wow, it really warmed her heart every time she thought of them like that - she picked up the little light of her life and carried them on her shoulders. They mumbled a few words in annoyance, but Adora could feel their tail happily swaying against her back.

“You’re going to win Best Kid at the dance for sure!” Catra commented.

“I don’t think that’s a real award, mom.”

“We’ll make it real, kid.” She declared, “don’t worry, I have some pull with Princess Scorpia.”

Adora couldn’t help but smile at that.

“What’s got you all smiley like that?” Catra asked, leaning closer to her wife as they walked together.

“It’s just…this is our first Princess Prom as a family,” she said, a little teary eyed, “I still can’t believe we got this far. It’s more than I could have ever dreamed of.”

“Well, you better start believing it,” Catra replied, giving her a little kiss on the cheek.

“Ew!” Finn complained, hiding their face so they wouldn’t be forced to see any more disgusting affection from their moms.

The two of them laughed together and Adora was certain that no dream could ever compare to the life she now lived.

[bookstantrash]

A/N: I am so very sorry for not updating for so long. I know I said I’d try to update more frequently while I was on uni break but life happened lmao. Classes are back, but I’ll try not left y’all hanging for so long.

You can check here Pemberley’s Lake, Hooked on You, Smells like petrichor and paper, The Sound of Music and A Midsummer Night’s Dream, part one, two, three, four and five of my Nessian Pride and Prejudice AU.

That being said, I hope y’all enjoy this chapter! We got a little bit of fluff, sprinkles of angst and a lovely plot twist ✨

Bloody Day and Ominous letters

Nesta woke up with the worst headache she had ever had in her entire life. She really should not have drunk as much as she had last night but as she saw her friends and Morrigan having fun that little voice inside her head — usually her mother’s or grandmother's saying Do better, Stop being such a disappointment or Your only purpose is to marry well so forget about love — got louder and louder, judging her company and trying to make her feel ashamed.

But she had had enough. Her grandmother and mother had both passed away already. It was time to bury them for good. So Nesta took the wine bottle from Morrigan and drank half of it in one go, her friends cheering around her. And she had so much fun. Nesta would never have guessed that drinking could be so enjoyable, nothing like those uptight parties where the ladies sipped a lonely glass all night long while the gentleman lost count of theirs. The only downside was her killing headache and the fact that she had overslept, a fact she took notice of once she glanced at the wall clock.

She had just sat up on her bed —  massaging her temple to ease the tension on her head — when an insistent knocking on her door made her mumble a curse. No doubt it was either Emerie or Gwyn — maybe both of them — waking her up. Those two were quite used to drinking, so it was no surprise to Nesta that they would be up and about very early.

“Would you two stop it?” she said loudly, opening the door wearing only her chemise, probably having ditched her dress during the night while she slept “I have a killer headache and your banging is not helping at all—”

She stopped mid sentence when she came face to face with Georgianam, the young lady’s hand still raised to knock on her door, Cassian right behind her.

“Oh, I apologise Lady Nesta” Georgiana said “We had agreed that we would go on a nice early morning walk today, but when I did not spot Miss Archeron at the breakfast table I got worried.”

“Please do forgive me, Miss Georgiana. I had a bit too much to drink yesterday and ended up oversleeping.” Nesta quickly said, mentally kicking herself for her rudeness “I will be ready for our walk in a minute.”

“Lovely! I will be waiting at the parlor then!”

Nesta closed the door with a sigh. Her morning had not begun the best.

However, it was only while she was brushing her hair that her sleep fogged mind caught up to the fact that Cassian had seen her half asleep wearing nothing but her chemise and with early morning messy bed hair.

She definitely could not be allowed to drink more than two glasses of alcohol if that was how she was going to behave whenever she drank more than deemed proper.

When she arrived at the parlor ten minutes later, she could not help but avoid looking at Cassian.

“Mrs. Potts brought you a little something to eat” Georgiana informed, pouring Nesta tea “And also some headache medicine”

“Please thank her in my instead later, she is too kind to me”

“Oh, it was all my brother’s doing” Georgiana smiled in Cassian's direction, serving herself some cookies “He was the one who asked her to provide not only the medicine but also the food.”

“I appreciate the gesture, my lord.” Nesta hid her blush behind the teacup.

“It was nothing, my lady” was all he answered, refusing to look at her.

That made Nesta’s heart strangely hurt. She could not help but think he had been disgusted by her earlier appearance. Her hair was such a mess and her chemise was all wrinkled from sleep—

Wait. Why did she care so much of what he thought of her? Nesta Archeron was not one to give much attention to others opinion of herself, so why was she getting so worked up when it came to Cassian? Of course, one could not help but notice how he always looked so presentable, with his spotless clothes, hair combed to perfection every single time. She had never seen a gentleman’s hair be so… perfect. She could bet her first edition of her favourite romance that he had awfully handsome bed hair. And that he had a mint breath even when woke up. And that he probably slept shirtless, if the last time she saw him at midnight at his library was any indication of his sleeping attire.

Oh Mother, why was she now thinking about all of that? She waved an imaginary hand to disperse her not so proper thoughts, focusing on the small talk Georgiana was making.

Both Nesta and Cassian kept avoiding each other during their walk, which did not pass by Georgiana without notice, especially given how her brother had made sure to stay two steps behind them, giving the excuse he wanted to give both ladies “privacy to talk comfortably”, something he had never done. Their walk, however, was cut short when Nesta showed signs of being tired and admitted that her headache had not disappeared.

“I assure you it is nothing to fret over” Nesta told a worried Mrs. Potts when they came back “It must be from yesterday’s drinking. There is no need to call a doctor.”

“Nonetheless, I will ask Chef Ramsay to prepare some light food and my special hangover drink” the old headmaid said with a motherly expression.

Thanking Mrs. Potts again, Nesta went to her room to splash some water on her face in hopes of refreshing herself. But a painful jab low on her stomach made her freeze and the blood drain from her face.

~•~

“Just knock on the door, my Lord” Lumière said as he watched Cassian drop his hand once again. The maître d’ had been watching his lord pace in front of the parlor door for what must have been twenty minutes.

“I do not want to bother her. Maybe I should call Mrs. Potts or wait until the other ladies come back” Cassian ran his hand through his hair in distress. Emerie and Balthazar had gone out with Morrigan to visit some possible new business partners — her big circle of connections proving itself to be very useful in helping expand their business — while Azriel and Gwyn had gone to the town, which was helding a small music festival. Georgiana, on the other hand, had received a telegram from a friend who had returned early from their trip abroad, and she had promptly gone to meet them.

“This, dear brother, is your chance to speak to Miss Nesta” she had said before leaving “I do not know what happened to make you both so distant, but you better make amends. I already asked Emerie to design the gown I shall wear at your wedding.”

Cassian had told Georgie to mind her own business and stop being such a busybody, proceeding to stand guard outside the parlor.

“Leave the lord alone” Cogsworth hissed, elbowing Lumiére “Her ladyship has not asked for help so it must mean she is fine and does not wish to be bothered.”

“Nonsense, old friend!! The lady is simply too shy to ask for it and the lord too polite to risk disturbing her” taking a step forward, Lumière knocked on the door.

“What do you think you are doing?!” the major-domo whisper yelled, and Cassian was sure he would have throttled Lumière were it not for the faint voice coming from the other side.

“Please, do come in” Nesta said.

Taking a deep breath, Cassian opened the door, leaving behind Cogsworth and Lumière, who were trying very hard not to start a duel right there.

The first thing he looked for was Nesta.

Nesta, who was rather pale and was clutching a pillow very hard against her stomach.

“Are you alright?” he asked, not knowing whether to sit beside her or just stay standing a few feet away.

“I am” she said, although the deep breath she took had him thinking it was not true “Where are Gwyn and Emerie?”

“Gwyn went to the town festival with Azriel. An Emerie went with Mor and Balthazar to meet prospective business partners.”

“Are you really alright Nesta?” he asked again “You do not seem fine at all if I may say.”

“I assure you I am perfectly fine” Nesta insisted through clenched teeth “Where is Georgiana?”

“At a friend’s house. They returned early from a trip.” Cassian said, a bit annoyed she was asking for his sister when he was right there. It was a stupid jealous feeling, and he was not even more annoyed because he felt glad they got on so well.

“Do you know when any of them will be back?”

“I am afraid I do not know” daring to approach her, Cassian sat beside her on the sofa “But I am here. If there is anything I could do…”

“There is no need to bother yourself. I truly am—”

And that was when Nesta whimpered and clutched her pillow even tighter, doubling over a little bit.

“You are definitely far from fine sweetheart” Cassian said, rubbing her back in hopes of helping her, nevermind proper etiquette.

“It is really nothing. Just—”

“Just what?”

“Lady stuff!!” Nesta finally said, her whole face heating up like a fireplace.

“Oh. Oh! I see. I— I understand” he said, also a little bit flustered “Not that I actually get it but I have also experienced pain and—”

Nesta wished the ground would open up and swallow her. She was used to getting her period, it was a monthly occurrence. Nothing out of the ordinary. However, this time it seemed her body had decided to punish her more than usual. Not only had she gotten a killer headache — made worse by her hangover —  but she was cramping very badly, and they usually were not that bad. That was why she had gone to that walk with Georgiana, even though she was getting mildly uncomfortable soon after they arrived at the garden.

Not that she did not want to miss any Cassian time.

Him going with them had been a bonus.

A surprise, but not a pleasant one.

Maybe just a bit pleasant if she was being honest. Just a tiny tiny bit.

“I will stop talking now” Cassian mumbled, interrupting not for the first time her errant thoughts.

She wanted to die. To tell Cassian — even indirectly —  that she had gotten her period was the most mortifying she had ever experienced.

“I can get Mrs. Potts for you” he tentatively said, restarting the back rubs “She can get you some tea for pain. Or a bag of warm water. You can tell her anything, do not worry.”

Nesta managed to nod her head in agreement, despite her stubborn side that refused to ask for help from the maids or other servants at Pemberley.

Cassian himself went looking for the head maid instead of just ringing for her, assuring her he would be back in less than ten minutes. And he did come back in record time with Mrs. Potts, who gave her tea and pain tonic that she assured Nesta made wonders for stopping cramps. All the while Cassian hovered over Mrs. Potts, unsure of what to do.

“Do you require anything else? Maybe another blanket?” he asked after Mrs. Potts had left. He had made sure to bring back a blanket too and had even tucked her in with extra care “Or more tea? I can ask someone to come and bring fresh hot tea”

Nesta would never have imagined Cassian to be such an overbearing mother hen. He was being extra careful around her and it annoyed her beyond reason.

“Cassian, this happens every month. Has been happening since I was thirteen, alright? Can you please stop?” she snapped.

She regretted her words as soon as she realised how rude she had been and what exactly she had said. However, he was being so overweening. As if she was made of glass or was on her deathbed.

Yet all Cassian did was crack a smile and nudge a chocolate muffin towards her. Nesta had been in such pain and so quiet he had been concerned if Mrs. Potts’ pain tonic would really work. But there she was.

There was the feisty, sharp tongued and quick-witted Nesta he knew.

There was the Nesta he fell in love with.

He barely held his tongue back and risked blutering his feelings right in front of her. Again.

“May I get you a book then? It is a good way to pass the time until your friends are back.”

“Thank you. That would be lovely” Nesta gave him a soft smile, her previous embarrassment having died down a little.

He was gone and back in a record time, and Nesta delusioned herself into thinking he had raced to the library because he did not want to leave her for too long.

“I got the book you were not able to finish last night” Cassian said, handing her Sellyn Drake’s latest romance “And I also took the liberty of getting one of my favourites too. In case you finish this one quickly.”

She thanked him again, curious as to what book was his favourite, what made her even eager to finish her current read.

Turns out Cassian was a fan of epic poems, a fact that — combined with his admission of having read Sellyn Drake’s romances — once again made Nesta view him with new eyes. She had thought he would be more of a war strategy person, all business and serious matters. Yet it seemed that Cassian had a dreamer inside of him.

“How many times have you read this book?” Nesta asked as she turned a yellowed page. The book was old, but she could see it was very loved given its good condition.

“A lot of times. It was my favourite book as a child, and I could not part with it once I moved out of my childhood home” he gave her a smile “It was also my dear companion during long expeditions. I have most of it memorized.”

“I bet you charmed every single lady during your travels with your knowledge, wooing them with beautiful words” she teased, despite the small pang of jealousy in her heart.

You refused his hand and humiliated him, she thought, you have no place to feel jealous. Cassian is a wonderful gentleman, it is expected to have women falling left and right for him, not to say him pursuing them.

“You are actually the first person apart from my family who knows that I read poetry” Cassian admitted “And I also have never met someone that made me want to declare a poem to”

Nesta did not know what to say to that. They were bordering dangerous territory, something that seemed to happen more and more frequently.

And Cassian, seated right beside her, was thinking the same thing. He had allowed himself to get closer to him again, something that yesterday he had vowed to avoid, had tried to do that morning. But to see her in pain, uncomfortable and not talking to him hurt more than those moments in which he could see a life with her. Those moments with Nesta were a double edged sword: he craved and loathed them with the same urgency.

He would kill to have even a single moment with her.

He would die if he had even a single moment with her.

Nesta made him want to be selfish.

Made him want to declare poems to her, maybe even attempt to write her one.

At the moment, he could not help but recall a certain verse of the Epic of Gilgamesh:

What could I offer

the queen of love in return, who lacks nothing at all?

Balm for the body? The food and drink of the gods?

I have nothing to give to her who lacks nothing at all.

You are the door through which the cold gets in.

You are the fire that goes out. You are the pitch

that sticks to the hands of the one who carries the bucket.

You are the house that falls down. You are the shoe

that pinches the foot of the wearer. The ill-made wall

that buckles when time has gone by. The leaky

water skin soaking the water skin carrier.

To Cassian, Nesta was the goddess of love. And he was the one who could not offer her a single thing for she lacked nothing.

“Well, I will not disturb your reading any longer” clearing his throat to break the new tense silence between them, Cassian gestured to the book in her hand “But do feel free to make comments while you read, I would very much like to hear your opinions about it.”

And she did just that. Every passage she found interesting, each line that caught her eye and interpretation she had about a certain phrase, she shared them all with Cassian. Somewhere during their conversation that awkward tension between them disappeared completely, with Cassian letting his arm rest on the back of the couch, getting closer to Nesta. And Nesta somehow ended up getting closer to him too, almost leaning on his side.

It was all very improper. Cassian staying alone with Nesta, so close to each other and acting as a married couple.

But Cassian would let himself be selfish one last time.

One last time before they had to go their separate ways.

~•~

The day would have ended perfectly were it not for the letter that Gwyn brought once she and Azriel had come back.

While Emerie, Balthazar and Mor had arrived late in the evening — with good news of new partnerships being agreed on —  Gwyn and Azriel had come back much later, just when everyone had finished dinner. Nesta had not been too worried, she trusted Azriel to take care of Gwyn and her friend was not bound by the stifling high society etiquette, but she breathed a little easier when they finally arrived.

“Oh Nesta, we passed by the inn we were staying at before and the landlady gave me a letter addressed to you. It seems she had forgotten to send it to us yesterday when our things were brought here.” Gwyn gave her the letter once they had moved to the game room “She apologised deeply for it.”

“I understand, it is a busy season for them.”

“It is a letter from Feyre” Nesta furrowed her brows in confusion as she broke the letter’ seal, which she recognized as being the one representing Feyre’ status as Duchess “She sent one barely a week ago, I wonder what could have happened.”

Nesta had guessed it would be another letter from Feyre asking about how their trip was going, if she had seen beautiful scenarios and bought any souvenir for her youngest sister. Or even a curious inquiry about what she thought of Cassian. Feyre had been quite interested to know if they got along — she had always been a busybody and matchmaker, and since marrying Rhysand had tried time and time again to nonchalantly push her to Cassin. If she ever discovered that Nesta had already been proposed by Cassian — and that she had refused his hand — chaos would befall upon Nesta.

However, as her eyes scanned the lines, Nesta’s assumptions of its contents proved to be far away from reality. She felt her blood run cold, her heart stop beating and fear. So much fear.

“Excuse me” she managed to say, getting up “I need a moment.”

“Nesta, are you alright? What did Feyre say? You are very pale” Gwyn said, her voice full of worry.

“I am fine. Just cramps” she brushed off her friend’s worries. She did not want to make the others notice that something was off with her, she did not want to alarm Gwyn..

Yet as she exited the room she failed to perceive that Cassian had been paying attention to her ever since Gwyn gave her the letter. He was always paying attention to his surroundings, especially when she was around.

He left the room a few moments after her, trying not to raise suspicion to his attitude. He did not know where she had gone — Pemberley was vast and her room was too far away for him to not have caught her faster — but something led him to the small outdoor patio just left from the small gallery he had at Pemberley.

As he got closer and closer there, he heard the sound of someone crying, which made his heart beat faster and a deep fear grow inside him.

He arrived outside to find an unimaginable scene: Nesta crying. Crying as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest.

She was a mess, her careful braided hair coming undone, as if she had ran her hands through it in desperation.

“Nesta… Nes dear, what happened? Is Feyre alright?” Cassian did not care that she most probably left the room to cry in private. He was worried, he needed to be beside her, he needed to help her somehow.

“I— Feyre she—” she was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe, let alone talk, making Cassian’s heart break in a thousand pieces.

“Shh it’s okay sweetheart. I am here Nes” he gently cupped her face, making her look at him “Take deep breaths with me.”

He took a deep breath, holding it in for three seconds before letting it go. He kept doing it until Nesta did the same, slowly calming down.

“Can you talk now? Do you want me to fetch you some water?” Cassian asked, tenderly brushing off her remaining tears.

“No, I— I can talk now” Nesta took another breath “Feyre is alright. It is Elain.”

“Elain? Is she sick? Talk to me Nes, help me understand”

Elain was the picture of the perfect lady in high society. With her numerous suitors, lovely and delicate behaviour — not to mention her singular beauty — it was hard to find someone who did not like her. Given that her hobbies — cooking and gardening — did not pose a threat to her health and well being, Cassian could not understand what would have made Nesta react so strongly. Perhaps Elain had fallen ill, something that rarely happened.

“No. She is not sick” Nesta shook her head “Cauldron, I almost wished she was sick.”

“Elain was…. Elain was kidnapped” she added, her eyes filling with tears again.

“Kidnapped? How?”

That made no sense, who would kidnap Elain? And why?

“She was going to visit Feyre. And when she didn't show up Rhysand went to search for her and—” Nesta started to cry, desperation filling her voice “They found her carriage turned over and hidden near the outskirts of the city. No sign of her at all.”

Cassian was speechless. He could only imagine how Feyre must be feeling after she got the news and hoped Rhysand was doing his everything to help find Elain.

“The coachman was killed and her lady in waiting was rushed to the hospital.” she cried even harder “This is all my fault. I should never have left her. We have no male relatives and Feyre is living too far from our childhood home. I was supposed to take care of her.”

“Nesta, it is not your fault. You could never have guessed something like this could happen.” he looked deep in her eyes, the blue in them even brighter because of her tears “Is there anything I could do to help?”

“I am afraid there isn’t, '' she whispered “I have to go back home. Try to hire an investigator, talk to Feyre and hope Elain is not disgraced by society rumors. Hope she is alive”

Cassian could only nod in agreement and wait for Nesta to recompose herself before they went back inside. Their friends were as horrified and worried about the situation as he and Nesta, and decided to go back right that moment. The staff noticed something was amiss and made sure to ready the carriage in record time.

“Thank you for welcoming you at your home” Nesta said, her complexion a bit better “I can assure you we all had a wonderful time here.”

“It was my pleasure. Have a safe travel and remember that Pemberey is open to you and your friends whenever you want to visit” Cassian helped Nesta get on her carriage one last time, letting go of her hand begrudgingly.

And as Nesta and her friends got farther and farther from Pemberley, as Nesta got farther and farther away from him and took his heart with her, Cassian felt a calm fury settle inside him.

He had some letters to write to some old friends.

•

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[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE,BLOOD Vol.01 Sakamaki Ayato [TRACK 3+4]

Original title: 吸い殺してやる & 乾いた喉

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 1: Sakamaki Ayato [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru

Translator’s note:

Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

TRACK 3: I WILL SUCK YOU DRY

*Cling cling* 

“Now tell me...What did they do to you? Aahn!?”

*Cling*

“Tsk...Ah, haah, haah...This pisses me off! In that case, I’ll just check myself…”

*RIIIIIP*

“Hahaha...I’ll rip off all of your clothes…Ughー!!”

*RIIIIP*

[00:41] “...Haah? What’s the matter? Gettin’ embarrassed' now? Just how many times have I done this sorta thing to you? Get used to it already. Usually I wouldn’t mind that kind of flustered reaction, but right now...I’m not in the mood!!”

*RIIIIP*

*Rustle rustle*

“Come on, gimme a better look...You shouldn’t mind showin’ me everythin’ if you’ve got nothin’ to hide, right?”

*Cling*

“Let’s start with your nape…Come closer!”

You hesitantly scoot closer.

“More!”

*Rustle*

“Exactly. You better behave, ‘kay? ...Or else, you’ll be in a world of trouble.”

*Sniff sniff*

[01:44] “Hahaha...You reek. It’s their scent. The smell of multiple men. I didn’t even need to strip you out of your clothes to check. I knew all along. ...Fuck!!”

*Cling cling*

“Haah, haah...Dammit...My body feels heavy...I haven’t had anythin’ to eat or drink this whole time...So I can’t even find the strength to do anythin’ to you…”

*Rustle*

[02:28] “While I was goin’ through hell and back...You were havin’ the time of your life, weren’t you? Hahaha...What a joke!”

You flinch.

“Aah...I feel like I’m gonna puke...Their stench gets stuck in my nose...Almost as if they’re still closeby... “

You look at him with tears in your eyes.

“Hahaha...Ahahaha! Why are you givin’ me that look? Are you hurt ‘cause I’m appalled by you?”

*Rustle rustle*

[03:12] “Don’t get all teary-eyed…Kuhーー!! Ugh...Haah, haah…!”

*THUD*

“Haah...I can’t believe tryin’ to tease you only makes it harder on myself...I’m disgusted with myself. Lame...Kuh! ...Dammit…! I’m definitely gonna beat those guys to death!”

*Thud*

[03:56] “...What’s wrong, Chichinashi? I don’t have the time to mess with you right now.”

You ask Ayato if he’s okay. 

“Ah? You’re worried? Have you lost it? Maybe you should worry ‘bout yourself instead, huh? If they took a likin’ to you, who knows when they’ll come for you again.”

You reach out for him but he shakes off your hand. 

“...!! Don’t touch me!!”

*Rustle*

[04:29] “Didn’t I just tell you to leave me the fuck alone? ...Shit! I’m hungry right now and extremely irritable. So much so I fear I might just suck you dry, no matter how hard you cry or scream...even if it means flat-out suckin’ you to death. I’m beyond parched. 

Haah, haah, haah...It feels like the inside of my throat might stick together...Since you’re still here... I guess that means you don’t mind things turnin’ out that way if you continue to pay mind to me..”

*Cling*

[05:15] “Although, I want nothin’ to do with you while you reek of those other dudes.”

You give him permission to suck your blood. 

“Hahaha...What do you mean ‘I don’t mind if you kill me’? Don’t play with fire when deep down, you don’t have the balls. ...Kuh! Fuck…I’ve seriously gotten dizzy…Haah, haah…”

*Cling cling*

[05:57] “...! You really never learn, do you? Didn’t you hear me just now? I wouldn’t be able to hold back right now, nor do I have any interest in you right now…!!”

He attempts to push you away.

“...Or do you want to be sucked dry and die maybe…!?”

You insist.

“Aah…? ‘Suck’, you say? ...Chichinashi. ...I’m not jokin’ ‘round right now!!”

You look at him with serious eyes.

[06:32] “...Che. You sure have some nerve...Spoutin’ that nonsense when you have no idea how I feel right now.”

You explain.

“Ah…? You feel bad for me? Your pity won’t work on me. Do you think all it takes is that sweet, meek attitude to wrap me ‘round your finger? ...Fuck! This seriously pisses me off!”

*Thud*

*Rustle rustle*

[07:05] “Don’t...trigger me...Haah, haah...Get out of my sight!! NOW!!”

You shift around on the spot.

“What part of ‘go away’ did you not understand, aah!? You can’t just find some way to get rid of these chains, no!?”

*Cling cling*

[07:31] “In that case, how ‘bout I just chop off your leg?”

Your eyes widen in horror.

“Hahaha…That’d get rid of the shackles. I’d say it’s a much better option than remainin’ locked up down here.”

You protest.

[07:51] “Fuck...That expression...You really don’t understand the danger you’re in, do you? I bet you’re convinced I’d never do such a thing, aren’t you? ...Fine. Seems like persistent hypocrites only learn the hard way. ...You’re spreadin’ this disgustin’ stench all ‘round...I’ve had enough of it.”

*Rustle*

[08:23] “Even though you’re my prey…! ...Now brace yourself!”

*Cling cling*

*Rustle*

“ーー Chichinashi. I’m gonna suck you dry.”

TRACK 4: PARCHED

*Cling cling*

Ayato bites you.

“Mmh...Nn…Hah...Hahn...Mm…”

*Gulp*

[00:19] “Hah...Should I just rip your throat apart with my fangs like this? Hahaha...Hahn...Mmh…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Fuckー ...I can’t get enough...I know I talked shit earlier...But your blood is still hella delicious...Hahn...Mmh…”

*Gulp*

“Hah...Mmh...Nn…”

*Gulp*

“Hahn...Mmh…”

*Gulp*

“Nn…”

*Rustle*

[01:10] “Your blood drives me mad. Hahn…”

*Gulp*

“Nn...Hah…”

*Cling*

“Haah, haah…”

*Rustle*

[01:33] “Fuck…! I’m playin’ straight into their hand...I’m sure they hurt you, ‘cause they predicted I would do this..I realized as soon as I sucked your blood.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“...How can I tell? Beats me. I’m sure they tampered with your body in some way. I bet they did it while pretendin’ to suck your blood. This fuckin’ pisses me of…! So everything’s goin’ exactly accordin’ to their plan, huh? Shit!”

*Cling*

[02:19] “But still...I can’t suppress this thirst...Haah...I need more...More...I haven’t had nearly enough...Give me more and more!”

*Rustle rustle*

“I don’t like how I’m basically dancin’ to their tune...but right now, I could care less ‘bout that. Haah...Haah, haah...Up next...is this place.”

*Rustle*

[02:58] “I’ll suck from your earlobe. Seems like those guys missed this spot. Hahaha…”

Ayato bites you again.

*Sluuuurp*

“Hahn...Mmh...Nn...Hah...I want to just devour you whole...Hahn…”

*Sluuuurp*

“Hahn...Mm…”

*Gulp*

[03:37] “Nn...Hah...Tastes great...When I realize they got to savor this blood as well...It seriously grinds my gears. Like my head’s ‘bout to explode or somethin’...”

*Cling cling*

“Ughー ...Now don’t get the wrong idea, ‘kay? I don’t like havin’ to repeat myself a million times. I have zero interest in you as a person. I just can’t get enough of your blood...That’s all.”

You whimper, completely dazed by the pleasure. 

[04:18] “...What’s wrong? Did it feel that good? You’ve totally got that dumb look on your face. ...Do you want more? Hahaha…”

*Rustle*

“Don’t try and hide it. You should realize that’s pointless already. Haha. Well, I also said a bunch of shit earlier, but I don’t feel satisfied yet, so I’m still gonna suck more of your blood. ...I’m so parched, it’s killin’ me…”

*Cling*

[05:01] “I’ll bite your other ear next.”

He bites your other ear.

“Mmh...Nn…”

*Gulp*

“Hah…”

*Gulp*

*Sluuuurp*

[05:21] “...Hahaha. Look at you twitchin’...What? Do you want more? Don’t get all worked up when I’m only tryin’ to enjoy my meal over here. Hahn…Mmh…”

*Sluuuurp*

“...Hahaha...Aahー Thanks to your blood, I feel somewhat brought back to life. However, I still haven’t had nearly enough…”

*Rustle*

[06:05] “Haah...My body aches even more than usual. What kinda shit did those jerks put inside of you…? Fuck...Oi, Chichinashi! Tell me what they did!”

You go quiet.

“Che. The silent treatment again, huh? Is it somethin’ you can’t say? Hahaha…”

*Cling*

[06:38] “Guess I’ve got no other choice…”

*Rustle*

“In that case...I’ll loosen your tongue this way…”

Ayato kisses you deeply.

“Mm...Nnh…”

*Smooch*

“Mmh…”

*Smooch*

[07:03] “...How’s that? I parted your lips for you, so now you can talk, can’t you? Hurry up and tell me.”

You look up at him. 

“When you look at me with those greedy eyes, your inner desires are clear as day. ...Now tell me, what kind of trap did they put on you? If you won’t, I’ll have to punish you harshly.”

You flinch. 

[07:36] “Hahaha...That terrified expression is pretty sweet, you know?”

*Cling cling*

“You want to know why I’m coiling these chains ‘round your neck? Isn’t that obvious? I’m goin’ to strangle you with these bad boys until you almost suffocate…”

Your eyes widen in horror.

[08:00] “I won’t tighten them all in one go, don’t worry. Instead, I’ll slowly rob you of your oxygen…” 

*Cling cling*

“I need you to tell me how they’re hopin’ to use you to their advantage after all…”

You shake your head.

[08:19] “Haah? You can’t tell me regardless? I see. ...Chichinashi, seems like they’ve captured both your body and soul by havin’ their way with you. That’s why you’re goin’ along with their plan and tempted me into suckin’ your blood, correct? Right!?”

You deny it.

“...I’m wrong? Then tell me! If you lay yourself completely bare and come beggin’ me to suck your blood more, I wouldn’t mind believin’ you.”

You hesitate.

[09:06] “You can’t, can you? You’re the type of chick who is in constant denial of her own inner desires after all.”

You protest.

“Shut up! Cut the crap! ー Also don’t cry! ...It pisses me off. I’m tempted to bite you to shreds right now and throw you out in front of them.”

You sob.

[09:34] “If you cry any more, I’m seriously gonna do it. ...Oi, understood?”

You nod.

“Hahaha...Look who’s being obedient now. You’re scared of these chains, aren’t you?”

*Cling cling*

“...Or is it all just an act, perhaps? Do you think I’d enjoy seein’ you shiver in fear like that and hurt you in return? 

ー You try and reason with him.

[10:05] “Haah…? I’m readin’ too far into it, you say? You really are an idiot, Chichinashi. Even before this whole ordeal, I never trusted you.”

You seem shocked.

“Hahaha...I can’t get enough of seein’ you hurt like that. I think you look the cutest when you make that expression.”

*Rustle rustle*

[10:41] “Human logic doesn’t apply to us Vampires. The fact that you’re gettin’ the wrong idea and lettin’ things get to your head proves that you’re nothin’ but a fool.”

*Cling*

“...Whatever. I rambled on for far too long. I’m thirsty again. My body is like a desert right now. ーー I became parched once more in no time.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[nicka-nell]

HQHQ Collab - First Choice

Pairing: Atsumu x reader, mention of Bokuto

Words: 6.822

Warning: mention of unnamed cheating ex-boyfriend, angst if you squint really hard, fluff, friends to lovers

Beta-reader: thank you for beta reading the fic @xmyshya

Summary: You’ve been living with your best friend for a few weeks, crying to him about your ex-boyfriend cheating on you. But Atsumu no longer wants to see you sad and offers himself as Wingman once more when he tries to set you up with his teammate.

This story is part of our HQHQ server collab with the prompt: When will I be someone’s first choice? Tell me, when? You can find the other stories here. So check out all the other wonderful writers.

“Y/n now go on and get up!” Atsumu’s loud voice wakes you up. With swollen eyes you turn to him, your hair still ruffled, left and right of you lie the crumpled handkerchiefs with which you have cried yourself quietly and secretly into sleep.

You’re tired, your head hurts, and Atsumu’s loud babbling doesn’t help your headache to settle. Reluctantly you pull your blanket over your head, but in vain. Because even before you can get used to the darkness and the warmth underneath, to the calm without the voice of the dyed blond-haired man, he pulls the coat off your body with a jerk and confronts you with the cold morning air, through the open window in your room.

“Tsumu, you idiot, give me the blanket back!” You whine, but he doesn’t even think about it. “Why does your bed look like a mess again? It’s been two months, and you’re still crying after this asshole? It’s enough with moping around.” Before he can finish his sentence, you can feel his hands curling around your ankles and how your legs were jerking forward, setting your entire body in motion.

“Tsumu what are you doing?” You scream and try to hold on to the upper edge of the bed. For a few seconds you manage to resist his tug, but you soon realize that he is stronger than you.

But Atsumu has apparently forgotten to calculate that you would let go and pulls you off the bed with so much momentum that you both land on the floor.

“Ah, Tsumu you airhead! Now my ass and feet are hurting. Why did you do this?” You want to know while you’re rubbing your butt, which you landed on a few seconds ago. Sulking, you look over to your best friend, who is also sitting on the floor, supporting his weight on hands behind his back.

“Sorry, I forgot how weak you are.” He teases you with a grin. “But you seem to be awake now, eh?”

“Yeah, awake and angry…” You quickly add to his statement and look at him with a wrinkled forehead. “Don’t look so evil. That wannabe look doesn’t suit you. I told you before, if you want to talk, I’m just a room away. No need to cry yourself to sleep.”

Even if he annoyed you earlier, you realize in his words that he’s worried about you. It’s been two months since you saw your boyfriend… No Ex-boyfriend with another girl. Just “saw them” is wrong. He had kissed her, touched her, and you were sure that if you hadn’t confronted them directly, more would have happened.

Atsumu was there for you, caught you with open arms and told you that everything would be fine. Because that’s how he always was. Back then, when the kids at school had teased you, when the girls had blasphemed you because you had always gotten along better with the boys. He was also the one who comforted you at your first lovesickness.

Ironically, you had a crush on his brother, who at the time had no thought of such trifles as love. The first time you were really in love with someone, it was Atsumu who tried to set you up with that person. Because it was none other than his volleyball teammate Suna who had twisted your head.

The fake blonde had really tried everything to make you as interesting as possible for Suna, had always invited you and Suna to ‘learn’ and then left the room for hours to leave you alone. But in the end, it didn’t work out because Suna told you he had feelings for another girl.

When your heart broke into thousands of pieces for the first time, it was Atsumu who had carefully tried to pick up all the shards and cautiously glue them back to the right place. He was always there for you. And even though you know what your heart wants, you shut yourself away from it. Because Atsumu is your best friend. The man who will always stand behind you to give you a push forward so you can finally find your happiness. Without him.

“That’s enough sulking! What do you say you come to practice with me today? Get to know my teammates and friends? Maybe there’s someone in there who piques your interest, eh?” He grins mischievously and wiggles his eyebrows before he straightens up and stretches his hand forward to help you up.

“Mhm… You’re not gonna leave me alone before I say yes anyway, are you?” You mumble as he pulls your body upward.

He still grins as he nods and lets go of your hand just to bring it to your hair. “But before that… you go take a shower and make sure that this nest on your head becomes the normal beautiful hair you actually have. All right?” He laughs as he pulls a scrap of a handkerchief out of your hair.

Oh God, how embarrassing you think and at the same moment you have to laugh. No matter what you look like, even if you are wrinkled, with greasy hair, mustard stains on your top and swollen eyes, Atsumu still likes you. After all, he sees you as a buddy.

“Well, I guess… I’m gonna get ready. Can you make breakfast, Tsumu?”

“Are you nuts? There is no more time for breakfast. I can heat the last slice of pizza from last night’s movie.”

“Oh, you’ll be such a good husband someday, Tsumu.” You answer him sarcastically as you shake your head and pass Atsumu.

“Sure, and you eventually become a good wife Y/n.” He calls after you, but you already lift your middle finger and slam the door behind you with a smile on your face. “Tze… Tsumu you idiot.”

The knife slices the butter with ease as Atsumu greases the butter on a toasted slice of bread to put your favorite cold cuts on top. Because he was just joking. Your first meal shouldn’t be a piece of old pizza.

When you’re with Atsumu, you forget all the things that made you sad. You’re happy and glad to have such a good friend by your side. And even though you said it sarcastically earlier, you still meant it like this, that he would make a woman very happy. Just with the thought of him and another woman, you feel a short sting in your chest, but you are sure that deep down you have to think about your ex-boyfriend and that you still miss him.

“Ready to go! Give me that slice of pizza or I’ll eat your friends.” You shout out to Atsumu as you enter the hallway through the doorstep. Once in there, you can hear his muffled voice calling out to you while his voice comes closer and closer.

It is only a second where Atsumu stops in the doorway, looks at you before he continues his walk and pushes the slice of bread and an apple into your hand. “I can’t let you smell like tuna and garlic the first time you met my friends.”

With rolling eyes you take the bread from him, push it into your mouth before putting on your thin cardigan and place the apple in your jacket pocket. According to your phone, the weather today is anything but cool and gray.

But just as you want to pull your zipper up, you feel something heavy landing on your shoulders, looking confused from left to right before your gaze sweeps up from the yellow fabric on your shoulders to the fake blond-haired man.

You don’t need words, your gaze is filled with the question of why he gave you his jacket. But again he just lay down his arms against his hips, grins casually. “Well, you’re with me or not? Not that they’ll think you’re a paparazzo at the gym entrance and not let you in.”

With the words ‘you’re with me,’ your heart gives a beat. “Don’t you think your friends will think we’re together, Tsumu? That this is more such a friend-girlfriend thing?”

The entire car ride is quiet, but it’s not an unpleasant silence. Only the radio rattles quietly, while Atsumu complains about the careless drivers or cyclists, and that there is never a parking space in front of the gym.

“Ah, don’t talk such nonsense. You can tell we’re just friends, you dummy.” Another bang, no stab, making your chest heavier. “Sure… right.” You just mumble quietly. So quietly that Atsumu cannot understand it as you breathe in the fine fragrance of his harsh deodorizer as you walk past him and leave the flat.

You have to admit you’re a little nervous standing outside the hall with Atsumu. You can hear voices from inside. Probably his friends. As if Atsumu understood your feelings, he puts his arm over your shoulder to give you more security, and enters the room freshener smelling hall with you.

It doesn’t take long for all eyes to be on you until the first person beckons Atsumu and the next one goes on you. A boy with orange hair that you remember very well. Atsumu’s school team had a game against him. They lost and Atsumu was talking to you for weeks about how he wanted to play with this little boy sometime.

Behind him stands a dark-haired man, hands in the pockets of his jacket, while he lingers in place, watching you only from a distance. That should be Sakusa. The guy Atsumu always talks about, how clean and special he is when it comes to hygiene.

Just when you want to turn to Hinata again, as he is still waving towards you, another man runs towards you at an incredible speed, shaking your hand vigorously with sparkling eyes. Your whole body is shaking, you’re getting headaches, but somehow you find his overactive anticipation cute.

“Hey, hey, hey! I‘m Bokuto Koutarou! I’m a super ace and I’m really successful!” He grins proudly, which makes you giggle. Of course he is. After all, he plays in the same team as Atsumu.

Yet Bokuto does not remain long in his proud posture. His shoulders collapse after a few seconds, while his gaze wanders to Atsumu. “Hey, Tsum-Tsum, why didn’t you tell me you were coming with your girlfriend today?” He wants to know from the fake blonde one.

Irritated, you look over to Bokuto, wanting to clear up the misunderstanding as the voice of an older man interrupts you. “Miya, the next time you bring someone, please report this to me first. Now, warm up and let’s start training.” The man you consider to be the coach says to Atsumu, who nods in agreement before pointing at a bench where you should sit, before he goes to warm up with Bokuto and Hinata.

Although you talk little to people, you’re not bored watching them train. It pleases you to see how everyone is with full passion. From time to time the man who introduced you as Bokuto grins at you, waving a little awkwardly before Atsumu admonishes him and turns his attention away from you. He’s kind of cute.

“Oh Tsumu…” you mumble quietly while chuckling unconsciously as you watch Atsumu reprimand Bokuto for being so easily distracted, and how Bokuto lets his shoulders drop apologetically.

“You seem to have had a lot of fun today, eh?” The question is rhetorical, because of course you did. He recognized that in your face. With the rest of yesterday’s pizza and a salad with smoked tofu, he sits down next to you at the dinner table.

The training passes, and your attention on Bokuto grows. First a few glimpses you exchange, then words and sentences, up to such long dialogues that he completely forgets his break and is called back to the playing field by Atsumu to finally finish the training.

“You could have introduced me to your friends earlier. Especially Bokuto. He’s kind of cuddly.” You babble while you are in your thoughts about the cheerful man.

“So, so… Bokuto, huh? Looks like I got a new job as a wingman, eh? Give me a few days to figure something out. Operation Lovebirds begins.” His eyes are narrow and playful, while his face is only a few inches away from yours.

As Atsumu had said, a few days pass. Days in which you were always at his training, always with the yellow jacket which makes you feel much safer and more comfortable. Days when you often talk to Bokuto during breaks.

Your heart gives a quick blow as the warmth of his breath hits your lips. From the excitement? Excitement to see Bokuto again soon, right? With an unnaturally bright laugh, you slap him on the shoulder, turn to the pizza, before you both go to your own rooms and get ready for bed.

Atsumu has the idea to take Bokuto to Osamu’s store, like he’s doing almost every Saturday to eat together. Sometimes the other teammates come with him, but this time he will only ask Bokuto.

He wants to lure him to the store and write to him shortly before, so that he has no time. You would sit already in the store and then pretend after a few minutes as if you had randomly noticed Bokuto. You could eat, talk and maybe even exchange your numbers. The idea was perfect.

As agreed, you sit at a table near the kitchen, looking at the menu while watching Bokuto from the corner of your eye. How he reaches for his cell phone and how his cheerful look is slowly getting sad, because he probably reads the message from Atsumu that he will not come.

You consider going straight to him, but your vibrating phone prevents you from it. A message from Atsumu with the words ‘Mission lovebirds can begin’. An unconscious grin spreads across your face as you read the message before a voice makes you shrink.

“Has someone also dumped you?” You hear Bokuto’s sad voice and make a brief shout when you see him standing right next to you. “Bokuto!”

You laugh a lot, seem to have a lot of fun and get along great. At least that’s what Atsumu can see from his brother’s kitchen. Because of course he didn’t want to miss out on seeing if you two really come along well with each other.

“Ah! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you! Uh… mind if I sit here?” He asks clumsily, pointing to the free chair opposite of you. Nodding, you invite him to sit down before quickly putting your phone in a pocket and start talking to Bokuto.

“Why are you here, Tsumu?” His brother’s voice makes him look away from you.

“Eh? What do you mean, Samu? I want to see if I’m successful with my mission.”

“Sure, stop lying to yourself.” Osamu quietly talks to his twin while he continues to prepare the Onigiri for his guests. But his brother doesn’t answer him, just looks out of the round kitchen window at the table where you talk to Bokuto with a smile on your face.

“You know I didn’t reject Y/n back then because I had no interest in girls. So finally get some balls in your pants.” With a full plate of Onigiri, Osamu crosses his twin, passes the plate to his server at the counter, before he enters the kitchen without a word.

“If she’s happy, I’m happy for her too. Why don’t you understand, Samu?” He now turns his gaze away from you, instead looking at the unfinished rice that Osamu had prepared for the next order. It annoys him that his brother has to address this topic again and again. It’s not up to Atsumu to decide what you want. After all, it’s up to you.

“So? So you don’t mind if I invite her on a date if it doesn’t work out with Bokuto? As long as she’s happy, it shouldn’t be a problem for me to taste her lips.” He deliberately tries to provoke his brother, and for a split second he sees Atsumu twitching his eyes, his cheekbones sticking out from his clenched teeth before looking his brother in the eye.

“If that’s what makes her happy. Then make her happy, damn it, understand?”

“What the hell, what’s wrong with you, Tsumu!” His brother yells at him, furiously stomping to him and grabbing him by his collar. He expected such an answer, but not this flat, indifferent response, which is supposed to hide Atsumu’s feelings.

Atsumu also grabs his twin by the collar, pushes him away from himself and continues the scramble. Again and again he tries to explain to him it is not Osamu’s problem and he should not interfere in his things and anew Osamu tries to convince him to finally listen to his feelings. Plates fall over, knives that lay on the work surface as the voice of the server stops the two men.

“Eh… I’m sorry, but at table four, the lady was asking what was in the spring drink because of her allergies.” Both let off from each other while Atsumu’s steps carry him quickly back to the round window to look at your table. Because he’s irritated that you’re asking that question.

The fake blond man hardly notices the voices of the two men in the kitchen. His heart suddenly beats restlessly. A young girl your age sat next to you and Bokuto. Atsumu’s plan to set you up with Bokuto seems to be failing.

“Nobody ditched me, Bokuto. Actually, I just wanted to drop by and leave Osamu a nice greeting when it becomes a bit quieter here. But it always seems to be full here.” You lie because you wouldn’t even have come here without this plan from Atsumu.

He feels bad that a small part of him hopes Bokuto finds the other girl interesting, but Atsumu quickly talks himself up that he just wants you to be happy.

With a quick beating heart you hope that Bokuto does not see through your lie, but when he smiles at you, you are sure that he believes you.

“Oh sure, right! If you know one Miya brother, you automatically have the other on your back, don’t you? Especially when you’re so close.” He grins, and his words remind you of the incident in the gym. There, Bokuto said something similar. He wrongly portrayed you as girlfriend and friend, which was certainly due to Atsumu’s jacket. And just as you were about to correct him there, their trainer babbled something into the room.

You definitely need to clarify that you two are just friends, otherwise you can’t ask Bokuto for his number. Just friends…

“Uh Bokuto? I think there’s been a misunderstanding. Tsumu and I-”

“Y/n? Oh my God, is that you?”

Again, someone interrupts you. This time not Atsumu’s coach or Atsumu, but a person you haven’t seen for ages. Your old school friend, who was with you at the same club and with whom you really got along well.

Because of your ex-boyfriend, your paths somehow separated, but you’re thrilled to see her now. “Oh Mei, is it you? You’ve really changed, wow.” You smile at her before you greet her and sit down again.

“I don’t want to bother you guys, and I’m sure that’s rude, but is it okay if I join you? If I annoy you, I’ll leave!”

Mostly you’re just here to get a date with Bokuto, but sending her away now would be too suspicious. For a moment you think about how to best handle this situation, but Bokuto takes the decision off you by inviting her to join you and just stay as long as she wants.

You talk partly to Mei, partly to Bokuto for a while when you check if Atsumu has written anything to you. You’re surprised he hasn’t asked you how the date goes. Is he on a date right now himself?

“Y/n? Did you hear?” Mei’s voice gets you out of your mind again, before you look at her absent-minded. “I have to go now, but… I was really happy to see you again and I hope we can repeat that soon. And I was also pleased to meet you Bokuto.” She adds, before she smiles at you both and goes to the counter to pay her bill and leave the bar.

Just when Bokuto wants to say something, his phone rings and he apologizes to you for a moment. You take the opportunity to write to Atsumu, ask him if you should take some Onigiri with you from his brother’s shop and hope for a hint if he had a date. Because if he doesn’t want some Onigiri, he sure is having dinner with another woman.

Two minutes go by, four… Ten minutes until Bokuto comes back in, and you feel your phone vibrating at the same moment. A simple “No, I’ve already eaten.” is his answer. An answer that suddenly makes you feel so weird.

“I’m so sorry I kept you waiting. Akaashi, my best friend, called me. I have to see him. Is it okay if we postpone our meeting for another time? So… I mean this random meeting.” He smiles embarrassed, and scratches the back of his head as he puts his jacket around his shoulders and shoves the chair back to the table.

“Oh hm? Sure. I would be happy to meet you again Bokuto!” You answer him enthusiastically, even if you’re still on Atsumu’s date in your mind. Did he really go out with a girl? Why do you not know her? Why didn’t he tell you?

“Perfect! So, I’ll see you at practice tomorrow?”

“Sure, I’ll be there.”

“Then let’s talk about some meetings during my break. I’ll go to Samu and pay the bill for us.”

“Wa-!” You want to stop him, pay your own bill but Bokuto already stamps away from you and knocks on the kitchen door to lure Osamu out and pay.

He doesn’t know how fast he ran to be home before you. Good thing he didn’t tell you about the shortcut, or you’d have run into each other. Fully sweaty, he jumps into the shower, trying to get the smell of Osamu’s kitchen out of his hair as he hears your voice dull from the hallway in the bathroom.

Together you leave the restaurant, but then go your separate ways. Although this is not the first time you walk this path, even though you don’t need twenty minutes on the way, it seems like an eternity to you. Absorbed in your thoughts, you kick a round stone along the sidewalk, burying your hands in your trouser pockets while watching it roll. The long gray road matching gray walls on the sidewalk, no car to see. Everything is dreary and you feel odd, but also happy at the same time. After all, Bokuto seems as interested in you as you are in him. You can quickly overlook the fact that Atsumu is probably on his own date right now.

“Tsumu? Are you home airhead?”

Hissing, he shakes his head, rubs his towel through his wet hair, ties it around his hip and glances into the mirror before he goes out.

“Tsumu! Put some damn clothes on!”

“I’m also pleased to see you. Got my clothes in the bedroom. Don’t worry, I’ll put something on. But first, how was your date?” The question was unnecessary. Of course he knew, because he was there, watching you. But you don’t know that.

Atsumu studies how you dance on your tiptoes, how you swing your body forward and backward, and tap your lower lip. You always do that when you’re nervous. But before he can even give another thought to you, your body moves forward in his direction.

Just a few seconds pass when your soft skin lies on his, your arms wrap around his neck and you hug him. Atsumu stops as if petrified. Because his heart beats fast, your body so close to his triggers so much in him.

Carefully, he pushes you away from his chest, hoping you didn’t hear his raging heart. Yet, your arms remain on his neck, your warmth on him, although this on his chest slowly fades.

Lovingly you look at him, a look that gives him an unknown sting. An expression that you would probably turn to a big brother, otherwise he cannot interpret it. But he cannot look away from your warm eyes. Those bright, happy eyes that captivate him.

“The date was really great and tomorrow at the training we want to make a new one! Bokuto is such an incredibly great guy, and he is so funny. He made me laugh so many times and it’s sweet how emotional he always is and ah! He is really fine. Thank you for introducing him to me.”

Silently you look each other in the eyes, speak with your eyes instead of words. Subconsciously, your fingers move, gently stroking his neck up and down, while your sugar-sweet laugh makes Atsumu even crazier.

His body acts on its own as it bends forward, coming to a halt just in front of your face. But his mind quickly catches up with his body, for his words wander down your cheek to your ears as he whispers to you quietly that he is happy for you.

“So mission complete, eh?” With a mischievous grin, he tries to distract you from his previous action, patting on your shoulders with his hands before he walks past you and strolls towards his room door.

“I’m gonna put some clothes on. You should take a shower and get some sleep. You stink and need your beauty sleep for Bokuto tomorrow.”

“Haha, very funny! I love you too, you idiot.”

Days go by when you talk to Bokuto a lot. At training, to the detriment of everyone else, eating ice cream after training or just sitting around in the park and doing nothing. You get along well, laugh a lot, talk a lot about his buddies - Akaashi and Atsumu. After your dates you always tell Atsumu how much fun you had and are sure that you deafen his ears with your Bokuto-talk.

Words that come so easily out of your lips, for they are meant amicably. Words that are so easy to understand, but leave a bitter heavy feeling in his heart.

Today you both sit on a wall in the park again, fooling around like good friends. For a moment your shoulders brush against each other, when Bokuto twitches and stares embarrassed down at you. You too feel your body getting more restless, out of balance as you look into his golden yellow eyes. Both of you are silent, always opening your mouth to say something, but then close it again.

“So, eh… Do you… remember our first random meeting? In Osamu’s store?” Bumpy, he tries to find the right words, starts playing with the moss growing between the grooves of the stone wall.

Your chest suddenly stops moving. Out of panic you hold your breath because you are afraid that he has found out that Atsumu is behind this coupling action.

“I was wondering if… Well, there was your school friend there, and I was wondering if maybe you could… could give me her number?”

“Her number?” You realize how anger slowly boils in you, how an unpleasant feeling rages in your body and you suddenly feel so uncomfortable and stupid. With a bitter hiss you laugh up, turn your face away from Bokuto so that he cannot see your sparkling eyes. Eyes that don’t sparkle with joy, no. Eyes that sparkle with tingling tears and leave small wet spots, like those of rain, on the stone wall below you.

Of course he wanted her number, of course he did. After all, it was always like this. Whether it was Osamu or Suna, your ex boyfriend or any other man you found cute or attractive. You were always the second choice. You were always good as a friend, but not good enough as a girlfriend. There was always another who came before you, who had taken the place that you had so longingly aspired to. It was always like this.

So why did you think things should be different with Bokuto right now? Did you really think there was a man who had only you in his mind? A man who adores you as much as you do him?

“Why all the dates Bokuto? Why did you invite me to all those dates, get my hopes up if you only wanted my friend’s number, anyway? Why...? Never mind, forget it!” You sniff and jump off the wall to get out of here as soon as possible. Only Bokuto remains, sitting on the wall in confusion, trying to understand your last words.

With his cell phone in his hand, Atsumu scrolls through your messages, through your enthusiastic and joyful words about Bokuto while lying on the couch, the free hand behind his head. On the table is the last bit of a spinach-garlic pizza he ordered shortly after you went on your date with Bokuto. His thumb stops at a note in which you jokingly wrote to him that you also love him when he teased you with your crush on Bokuto. Words that hurt more every day, the longer you stay at Atsumu’s flat.

“Get your hopes up? H- Hey, Y/n wait!” He calls you, but your silhouette gets smaller and smaller. You’re not thinking of turning in his direction again.

His gaze is focused on his cell phone, the thumb still on that one message as a new message covers it. Irritated, he looks at the name of his teammate, who sends him one message after the other. Although he hasn’t read the messages yet, he has a bad feeling. He doesn’t know if it’s worry or something else, but he must think of you directly as he opens the messages with shaky fingers and straightens up on the sofa.

>> Tsumu-Tsumu! Get on your phone! I think I screwed up! I thought Y/n is your girlfriend and today something weird happened, and! I screwed up, man. Tell her I- <<

Atsumu is still reading Bokuto’s incoming messages, can hardly keep up with them when the loud banging of the front door makes him startled. As if he has just been caught in something forbidden, he throws his cell phone in panic behind the couch and looks in the direction of the living room door in which you suddenly stand.

Your eyes are red, nose runny, and your words come to him only as a loud sob. In him everything hurts at this sight of you.

“Tsumu!” You sniff and want to make a step forward to your best friend, but Atsumu is faster. He takes you in his arms as you press your head against his warm chest. His fingertips glide slowly through your hair, calming you while his grip around your waist becomes firmer.

“It’s okay, I’m here.” His words that softly kiss your ears calm you down. He knows exactly that there is no point in questioning you now, because you are still too busy collecting yourself again. So he just keeps silent, caresses your head and listens to you as your sniffing gets less and less, your fast, hasty breathing gets calmer and calmer.

“You want to tell me what happened?” His muscular arm loosens easily from your waist, his hand stroking you, now raises your head and makes you look at him. With a loving smile, he wipes away your tears, puts his arms on your shoulders and waits for your answer.

Hard you breathe out, try to pull yourself together, but your voice remains shaky.

“Bokuto… He just wanted her number… He didn’t care about me.” You notice how your voice becomes unclear again, begins to tremble more and your sniffing is again to take over your voice. But Atsumu’s thumb, which caresses your shoulders, calms you down again and you try to spell your words back into clear sentences.

“He wasn’t interested in me. At least not so… Tsumu, it’s like that every time. Men always fall in love with other women. I’m always just the third wheel. Am I that ugly? Am I so unattractive that every man sees me as a buddy? Tsumu… When will I be someone’s first choice? Tell me, when?”

Your eyes glittering with tears, search for his eyes. His heart breaks with the sad look you give him. And although the answer to your question is on his lips, he would like to scream it out of himself, yet a big lump sticks to his neck and keeps him silent.

“Tsumu when?” Is the only thing that comes out of you broken, now that not even your best friend can give you an answer to that question.

It was probably his fault you’re so sad now. Because Bokuto didn’t mention that school friend of yours once. He probably only said that because he thought you were Atsumu’s girlfriend and he didn’t want to destroy the friendship of the two men.

It was Atsumu’s fault that when he introduced you to his team, he didn’t make it right that you weren’t his girlfriend. The fake blond had not done this on purpose. His words just didn’t want to come out of him back then. Only later he had understood why he had tried to make his friends believe that you are his girlfriend.

He’d have to answer his cell phone, read Bokuto’s messages to be one hundred percent sure he wasn’t serious about your school friend, but his body isn’t moving. Actually, he can’t move anyway, because you clenched your hands into fists and clutched them into his shirt.

Atsumu should set it right. But in him, Osamu’s voice pushes forward. The words Atsumu wanted to deny. ‘You’re in love with her… Stop lying to yourself… Finally, get some balls in your pants.’

Not even your best friend can answer your question. How could he if he met with others every time you were with Bokuto? But even though it hurts that Bokuto rejected you, it hurts more that Atsumu doesn’t give you an answer.

With a sad sigh, you push his hands off your shoulders and set your legs in motion to go to your bedroom and be alone. But you can’t take many steps, because Atsumu holds you to your wrist just to turn you back to him.

Slowly, without strength and without joy, you look up to him. In his face, which shows so many emotions at once, yet he tries to hide them all from you. You notice how he struggles with his words, not knowing how to begin. His grip on your arm gets tighter. It almost hurts, but you say nothing.

“You… You have always been… my first choice.” He says hesitantly, in such an uncertain tone which is unlikely for him. His words are so quiet that you don’t understand them, just look at him questioning.

“Y/n, you have always been and always will be my first choice. Shit, I know I’m gonna ruin our friendship with this, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m selfish, yes, I know. I didn’t correct the statement when Bokuto said that you were my girlfriend because I didn’t want to see you with someone else who would just hurt you again. Y/n I can’t see you sad anymore. I don’t want to see you like this anymore. It just doesn’t work anymore. Ever since you’ve began living here, swinging your sweet little ass around my apartment, eating with me, spending evenings, and almost all days, I can’t think of anything but seeing you as more than just a buddy. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you? Shit, you airhead, I love you.”

His words become clearer and clearer, on the contrary to his expression. Then, as his tone becomes firmer, his gaze becomes more anxious. And now you understand. You always wanted the perfect boyfriend. Wanted to have a man by your side who loves you, who Atsumu gets along with since he is your best friend and had never noticed that he was always your second choice.

You always wanted someone who liked your friends, who understood you, and that person was always at your side. You knew why Bokuto’s words didn’t hurt you as much as Atsumu’s silence a few minutes earlier. You knew why you enjoyed wearing Atsumu’s jacket, and you knew why it didn’t bother you that Atsumu had not corrected the statement, and so the rumor arose that you two were a couple. Also you knew why you wanted to convince yourself that Atsumu met other women to not feel bad about going out with one of his friends. You knew, but you never wanted to face it. Because like Atsumu, you were afraid of losing the person you needed most.

You open your mouth soundlessly. If you say nothing now, you are sure that the man in front of you will immediately lose his temper with excitement and fear.

Although you have said the words many times, your heart is racing like crazy, your belly is tingling and your chest is almost painfully contracting. You’re nervous, nervous like when you had to introduce yourself to the big class full of people.

“I love you too, you idio-” Before you can finish your sentence, the warm lips of Atsumu, which lie gently on yours silence your last words. Full of pleasure you give a quiet whimper, trying to calm your loud throbbing heart in vain. Because your body burns, trembles, is numb and awake at the same time. Your thoughts are going crazy.

Atsumu also gives a relieved sigh, almost as if a huge load has fallen from his shoulders. His arms quickly wrap around your cheeks, stroking your face while his lips open a little and you feel his wet tongue on your mouth. You have the feeling that your body has just gotten warmer, reducing the last distance between you and giving off a gasp as you also open your mouth slightly to allow him to enter. His hand, which stroked your cheek earlier, seeks its way to the back of your head to bury itself in your hair and pull your head back a bit to kiss you better.

For a moment your tongues dance together, your bodies almost link as you interrupt your kiss and look into Atsumu’s excited face. His cheeks are reddish, lips slightly puffed up from your kiss, while his breath lands warm on your body.

“What’s the matter Y/n?” He whispers hoarsely, the expression slightly playful. But you just look at him with a slightly silly grin.

“Did you eat garlic, Tsumu?”

For a moment he looks at you, as if a fuse blew through him. He’s thinking about what you meant by that, before he starts sulking while stretching his head backwards, so that he’s looking at the ceiling.

“Ah shit, if I had known I’d tell you that I love you, that we would be kissing, I would have bitten into a rose and not into a pizza with extra garlic.”

Laughing, you put your head on his chest, looking up at him while he continues to stare at you sulking. “Is there still a slice, bunny?”

“One piece, but it’s already bitten, babe.” He grins and reminds you of all the nights you two sat on the sofa watching series and arguing about who gets the last piece of food. Once Atsumu had licked the last piece and thus reserved it for himself, sometimes you were faster. You were acting like toddlers, but you were having an incredible time. You just had fun with him, always.

“Your tongue was watching if all my teeth were still in my mouth a few seconds ago. Do you think it bothers me that the pizza piece is bitten?”

“Guess not. But give your sexy boyfriend a last stinky kiss. Okay?” He smirks and sharpens his lips playfully to tease you and brings his arms around your body so that you can’t escape. Only so you press his lips away from you, laughing until Atsumu finally gives you a fleeting kiss and you act as if you faint and lean against his chest.

Your loud laughter resounds through the room and your hands do not let go of the other until you are quiet and enjoy the moment in silence.

“I love you Y/n. You, my first choice.” He whispers to you as he gives you one last kiss on your crown.

[jjkpls]

the wishlist (m) - 4

“What does it mean if a guy talks about your nipples?”

> genre : smut, fluff

> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)

> total words : 4.7k

> content/warnings : back at it again w/ the bff2l; one sided love, lot of pining; sextoys talk; explicit language; ambiguous infidelity ; awkwardness

previous - next

The issue is that Jungkook -and you're not a bitch for thinking that- is a little bit of an idiot.

He can be very smart. He can be wise and present unsuspecting resources and knowledge. He can teach you things you don't know anything about, figure out others you struggle to -but not during stressful times like for say an escape game because during those, he turns absolutely, utterly useless. 

But he is an idiot too. An idiot that sometimes shapes situations and conclusions and ideas in a very peculiar way that is very singular to him.

That’s precisely what happens then. He plays his role right, to its full extent, with great dedication and commitment. Except he missed a memo, misread the script and ends up playing a role that's not the one you planned for him. He believes that he’s your new adult toy provider (as if there is such a thing).

When you think he’s coming over to share a meal or play some game or binge-watch a series you promised to wait for him to experience together, he has a box hidden in his pocket or carried under his arm. 

He has the decency to not comment on it the first time around. He just set it down on the coffee table, between the bowl of chips and the one filled with guacamole. You see the logo on top of it. You recognize the design, reffined, minimalist with the pretty pastel matte colour. 

He probably identifies the shame and the annoyance on your face, painting your cheeks and reshaping your eyebrows, and doesn’t say anything. Simply smiles to himself and starts talking about the series’ new episode that’s about to start. 

It takes a lot of efforts, coming from you, to ignore the conspicuous object sitting just in front and in between you. But eventually, probably because more than a decade of friendship with this guy have grown impressive mind muscles on you, you manage to make abstraction of it. 

It just stops existing for a while until he leaves and you’re curious to see what’s inside. And again you have the same old intentions as before. The same ones.

You won’t use it. 

It’s curiosity. And it's fine for you to be curious because he’s the one buying it and gifting it to you. Why should you be blamed?

Freshly hopped in bed, just done reading the notice hanging over your face, you’re yawning and sending your eyebrows high in interest. Again you won’t use it but it sounds very interesting. That’s when you get a text from him.

Guk

So about the toy!

As if you were waiting for his explanation. As if the conversation got cut short and you were expecting him to pick it back up whenever possible.

You won’t entertain him.

You

I said not to buy me this.

Guk

You never said that! You said something about me being crazy but never about buying one again

Because you're mostly made of petty bitch material, you scroll higher quickly, wishing to find something, any text that would corroborate what you’re saying.

You don’t find anything though. Because you never actually told him to not buy you other toys by text, and now that you come to think of it, you probably never did out loud either because you didn’t fucking know that he would even consider doing so.

It’s not even Christmas anymore. It’s not your birthday. There’s even less of a valid reason for him to get you this therefore, of course, you did not explicitly warn him not to, you didn’t think it would be necessary.

You

It’s not even my fucking bday why???

Guk

I told you the lady at the shop

But who the hell is that lady?

Guk

She talked about a lot of products and they all seemed cool and because you liked the other one I thought I’d get you this one too

You

Jungkook

This simple response says a lot, you hope he can read between the pixels of his screen the desperation, the irritation, the frustration, the silent insults. 

Guk

Listen it’s super cool it's supposed to mimic the touch of a finger

Jungkook then proceeds to explain to you how it works. The original idea being a system with a tiny ball rolling under a silicon skin, to place on your clitoris to have the illusion of a finger's touch. And it’s interesting and innovative surely and sounds intriguing as in, you wonder if it’s accurate, but you’re tired and it seems like you’re wading in some sort of swamp you can’t escape from. There’s a fire burning your skin from your cheeks to your chest. You’re both hating this conversation and unwilling to just draw a final period to it. This asshole.

You

I can read

Guk

So you opened it already??

There’s a bunch of excited emojis that follows his last message and fill up the empty space your lack of response leaves. 

Why and how can he be so eager?

Here comes the delusional part of your brain. It’s a very wide, very deep hallway covered in bookshelves filled to the brim with stupid interpretations and beliefs and sometimes even memories you’ve shared with him. Often next to the laters are pinned an article from a teenage magazine or the jacket of a romance movie, specifically there to validate that yes, indeed, it must have meant something. 

The door of that corridor just creaked opened. You can discern the sound, you can feel the particular atmosphere without even having to take a step through. 

Is it really that normal to be so excited about that? For him? As a friend?

It’s the most frustrating part: you are friends. Friends who supposedly can tell each other everything. Friends who can ask each other anything. 

You should be able to talk about it. Just ask him. If there’s anything behind this whole mess, if he means to tell you something, if it’s wholly mindless, if there’s no hidden agenda.

It should be fine. There’s only trust and affection in this friendship. 

You are still too scared, you are terrified that he’d start linking dots, ask himself some new questions, potentially answer them himself, and have you all found out.

You'd have your barely well-worn cover thrown completely away. 

You send the blank emoji. The one with even the eyes closed. It summarizes your actual state pretty well, speechless, relatively annoyed. 

Guk

She said you could try it on other parts of your body too

Guk

At first

Guk

Like on your lips or your nipples

You want to die.

Now.

No, better, you wish to have never been born. 

Why is he talking about your nipples? Why?

And through all that, you still feel like something is wrong with you, along with your feelings. 

Turns out you are so overwhelmed by his clueless inadequacy, you need a good half an hour and a random shot of tequila to get through it. When it’s gone and exhaustion of a long day and alcohol have knocked nervousness and panic out, you fall asleep, forgetting about answering his outrageous last texts. 

“What does it mean if a guy talks about your nipples?”

Min's finger stops midair, above the cash register she's been working on. She needs a good minute to get back to her senses and while you wait, anxiety invades you. Maybe you should never have brought it up. 

But this question, the torturous thing is slowly killing you.

Min finally turns her head to you, eyes squinted and eyebrows drawn low. She sucks in her pretty red lips before opening them to start formulating, with it seems a certain struggle, an answer. 

“I don’t think I quite understand.”

It’s a pretty straightforward, relatively easy question. That’s what you'd want to say but you’ve reached the state of bashful regret and decide not to press it. Some things are better just left alone. 

“Who talked about your nipples?” She ends up asking the one thing you wished she wouldn’t because there is no way you’re giving his name. 

“Doesn’t matter.” You mumble, turning around slightly, getting back to the task you were here, paid, to do -wipe the shelves clean and not talk about your “““love””” life. 

“I think it does. You wanna know if it means something? Like the guy's into you?”

“Something like that.” Your cheeks are aflame now. No doubt about it. You silently curse at your manager who refuses that you don’t wear the ugly hat that holds your hair back because having a curtain of hair to hold behind, as a help to keep some of your remained, sparse dignity would have been peachy. 

“What did he say exactly?”

Silence. You’re not elaborating. She sighs, defeated. 

“Well, I suppose... he’s considered the fact that you have boobs. If it’s a straight guy, that’s a good sign, I guess?” She shrugs.

You don’t like the answer. It’s exactly what the wrong, defective part of your brain, the one directly wired to your heart, wanted to hear. 

She doesn’t even have the context, anyway. It doesn’t mean much, doesn’t hold much power in your court of sensibility. 

She stares at the side of your face, clearly attempting to drill holes in your head to try and find some answers. You’re awfully silent, have said too much yet not enough and she’s dying to know the whole story. You won’t give in and she can tell. There’s no way you’re sharing the whole thing. The most, probably, probative point of the whole story: the sex toys. It’d turn her into a devastating tsunami of nonsense and misinterpretation and drown you in its wake and you can’t, when you’re already struggling to stay afloat, allow that.

Tag list: @fangirls94 @realswimshaddy @safi4x @pnkd @somewhereinthestarss @kpopfandomftw @kai-kai-bookshelf @pasteljoonie @ggukkieland

A/N: Don’t forget to click on the next button on top, two parts are being posted simultaneously :)

[thcweasley]

Yours

PAIRING : George Weasley X Y/N

SUMMARY : George getting jealous of his twin brother for being closer to you .

WARNINGS : none? Make out? implying things? hehe

WORDS : 1.7k

A/N: lol this hits too close to home, growing up i was shadowed by heather sister :(  I was going to turn this into smut but im not sure.. cos i never wrote a smut before lol.

“Focus on your work Weasley” Snape smacked George Weasley’s head with the book he was holding, causing the whole class to look at his direction.

George was already an easily distracted person to begin with. but today especially, he got his mind somewhere else.

He was looking at you and his twin brother Fred, giggling while trying to figure out snape’s task. All of his life he never thought that he would feel this much jealously towards the older twin. Sure, sometimes it bothers him a bit that people pay more attention to him, or the fact that people always refers them as “Fred & George”, not “George & Fred”. But he knew it’s a silly thing to be bothered about so he always managed to brush it off.

But not today, Fred had been assigned with you. The girl George met on his last solo trip to honeydukes. It shocked him how he never saw you around before, despite being in the same house and grade. But hes glad that he met you. George didn’t like to be cheesy, but he was so sure that you were made for him. Whenever youre around, he just felt so happy. You’re funny, kind, and on top of all you’re prettiest thing he ever seen. Sadly, for him, other people seems to think that way about you.

He introduced you 2 weeks ago to his brother and friends. You seem to get along great with everyone. He liked that, his brother and friends is everything for him. But he cant help it but feeling a little bit jealous. He didn’t wanna admit it but this jealously is most probably because he was insecure about his feeling for you. Before everything he was sure that you fancy him the same way he fancies you. But now, hes not sure. And he hated it, youre supposed to be his girl.

The class that felt so long was finally over. George quickly stood up, walking towards the common room. he just want to burry his face onto his bed now. He felt an arm linking his. “Hey you” it was you. He let out a big sigh, not knowing how to feel right now.

“Hey, did you have a good time today?” He hated how catty he sounded. Knowing you, he knew you wouldn’t able to tell.

“Yeah it was fun. Your brother is hilarious you know that?” He rolled his eyes, feeling his face getting hot.

“Well yeah hes a clown” George answered shortly. Wanting you both could just drop this conversation. He didn’t like this, being jealous of his twin brother.

“ahah yeah true, youre also funny too you know” You leaned your head onto Georges arm. At this point it was hard for him to not just pulls you into a big hug. “Whats your plan for the rest of the day?” You asked looking up on him.

“Im not sure, probably just sleep” George answered looking down to you. You looked so cute leaning on to him.

“Wanna have a study date? Snape’s test tomorrow right?” George’s ears perked up at the word date.

A smile creeps on his face. “Yeah sure”

“Brilliant! I’ll see you in 2 hours then!” You gave his arm a squeeze before you go. Leaving George all smiley by himself.

2 hours later, George found himself getting ready for his study date. He finally going to make a move on you. Its obvious that you fancy him now right? At least you were the one who refers their study session as a study date.

He tried to look around for Fred but he was nowhere to be found. He feels weird do anything without asking for the older brother’s advice. But it was time to go to meet you at the Library and he didn’t want to make you wait, so he just decided to cross his fingers and hope for the best.

“Hey” George greeted you, big smile on his face. You look up at him from the book you were reading, smiling back at him. “You got a lot of stuff here” He sat down beside you, looking at paper and pens in front of him.

“Oh its not mine” You answered. “So, do you have anything you’re particularly struggling with?”

Whilst you tried your best to explain the things that he was struggling with. George was doing his best to stay focus on what youre saying instead of you. He cant help but admire your face, your cheeks, your lips. He wonders how would it feel like you press his lips against yours.

“Are you listening to me George?” You asked, knowing the answer pretty well.

“Uh yeah, im sorry I got distracted” he blinked.

You brought your hand on to his head, messing with his red hair. “you’ve been a bit distracted these days. didn’t you got smacked on your head earlier today by Snape?” you chuckled a bit running your fingers on the back of his head. “Did it hurt?” You tilted her head closer to him, rubbing the back of his head.

He couldn’t seem to think straight at this point. The fact that youre so close to him right now, he could smell your scent. He took a deep breath trying to be brave and make a move. He put his hand on top of yours, pulling it away from his head. “Y/N..” He started, linking his fingers with yours. “I think I like you”

“Yeah?” You chuckled feeling. your cheeks starting to get warm. “Whats going on George? Why are you suddenly so serious?”

“Well, Im not sure how you feel about me. But I got nothing to lose so here I am. I like you” Surprised by his words, you didn’t say anything. So he thought he could just make a move then. He leaned in closer to you getting you lips closer to each other. Not knowing what to do you just close your eyes. He smiled, taking this as a greenlight to proceed his act. Until all of the sudden-

“Your tea is here!!” Fred walked in, causing them to pull away from each other. “Hey that’s my seat George, do you not see the stuffs on the table?” He said as he sat down filling the gap between You and George.

“Fred what are you doing here?” George asked, clearly  frustrated with the situation.

“That’s not how you greet people, my dear brother” He said handing you the tea he was talking about. “Besides, youre not the only one who got invited to this study group. Right Y/N?” You just nod at him feeling flustered, thinking about what could’ve happened if Fred didn’t just walk in.

The next day, George has been avoiding you since last night. He thought you guys shared the same feeling. But yesterday proved him wrong. He was just another friend to you

Snape’s exam was a group work, being Fred’s partner obviously made you work with him for the exam. You looked so happy, George wishes it was him working with you instead of his twin brother. He hated this so much, it’s ridiculous how jealous he felt towards his twin brother right now.

The exam’s finally over, George saw you coming up to him from the corner of his eyes. “Hey” you greeted him. “Wanna go to Three Broomstick later? I haven’t really seen you all week”

“Who’s coming?” He asked, hoping this time its just the two of you. And everything that he thought about last night wasn’t true.

“Uh everyone. Fred, Lee, Angelina and others im not sure” George snickered. How stupid of him to think that you wanna be alone with him. How stupid of him to think he got a chance with you.

“I think im gonna pass on that” he took a deep breath. “Im tired. Ill see you around” He left you dumb folded, walking away towards his room.

The night comes around. The common room feels empty, his friends had left him for Three Broomstick. George just chilling alone on his bed when he heard someone opened the door.

“George?” You walked towards him, sitting at the end of his bed “Hey, im just.. I just wanna make sure everything is okay”

“Why you here” George answered bitterly. “Arent you suppose to be out with your friends, with my brother?”

“Well yeah but I wanna check up on you. And talk about last night..”

“What do you wanna talk about Y/N?” He took a deep breath. “I already get it, you see me as a friend. If anything, you like Fred more than me. I get it don’t worry. Everyone always picks him over me, im used to it”

“George…” you scotched in closer too him, trying to stop him from rambling all these nonsenses.

“Im not even sure why I thought you like me, he is the better twin. Im just me. I just thought I have a chance with you. Throughout my life, ive always get hands down from my siblings, share with my siblings.” He realised how ridiculous he sounded but it didn’t stop him. “I love how you get along with my friends. But, i just thought, I thought youre my person. Finally someone I can proudly say mine. I thought you feel the same way as I do…” Georges voice was getting quitter when he felt your hand grabbing his. “I like you a lot and I get that you don’t feel the same way. So if youre coming here to explain that i-“

His words were cut off by your lips crashing to his. “You never let me speak Georgie”  You murmured against his lips “I don’t know how you got it all wrong” you kissed his cheek lightly. “I didn’t know you felt that way. George. I like you, im your person. Ive always been“

With a big smile he pulled in for another kiss. He held on to your waist pulling you closer to him, positioning you onto his lap. You threw your and around his neck, deepening the kiss whilst his hands lazily griped your waist.

You can feel something poking between the inner part of your legs. With a slight smile you press your legs more on to him, grinding it against him. Earning a low groan from him.

He held your hips down on him, so both of you can feel more of the friction. His lips travelled to your jaw and to the back of your neck. You could feel his hot breath, sending shivers down your spine as he moved his lips closer to your ears. “Prove it” OKAY SO Let me know if you want a part 2 smut off of this HAHAH.

hehe part 2

this was quite hard to write cos i feel bad for him ahaha. this is loosely based on a true story. but i never got my Y/N :’)

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